


Boiling Point

by Pigeonlandia



Series: Catharsis [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Depictions of anxiety, F/M, MC is an OC with a name and personality and such, Mammon Cares and I will die on that hill, Mentions of Character Death, Reconciliation will happen its just a long road to get there, The MC/Mammon is kinda background they’re in wuv but they both haven’t figured it out yet, The rest of the bros care as well but things are complicated, another one of those MC isn’t okay with dying and being threatened fics, brief mention of self harm (nothing happens in story), depictions of ptsd, lesson 16 spoilers, the Lilith thing is done differently
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:27:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25838806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeonlandia/pseuds/Pigeonlandia
Summary: noun1. Physics, Chemistry. the temperature at which the vapor pressure of a liquid is equal to the pressure of the atmosphere on the liquid.2. the point beyond which one becomes angry, outraged, or agitated.3. the point at which matters reach a crisis.
Relationships: Main Character/Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Mammon (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Catharsis [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2104086
Comments: 33
Kudos: 268





	1. Smile, You’ve Won

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction ive written in literal years.
> 
> Some notes:
> 
> -I used my MC Viola for this, but her name is only used a few times.
> 
> -The Lilith thing is done differently, she isn’t her descendent but more of her “chosen”. I didn’t go into detail because thats not what this story is about but it is mentioned.
> 
> -This is a story about MC not being okay with all of the death threats and the actual time she died but its also a story about the effects prolonged stress have on a person, so tread carefully if this is a triggering topic for you.
> 
> EDIT: I forgot to mark this as a work with multiple chapters. Whoops. The chapter title is a shout out to “Smile, You’ve Won.” By Lydia.

In retrospect, she should’ve seen this coming.

She knew Belphagor hated humans, she’d heard the stories from both Diavolo and Lucifer, and he’d proved that time and time again himself. But she still said that she wanted to help bring him back to the house because he was their _brother_ and she thought that maybe, just maybe, after everyone had had a chance to talk, he’d change his mind. Maybe it’ll all work out.

She remembers Mammon’s words at the time, him asking if she really wanted to see him after knowing that he tricked her, that he wanted her and all of her kind dead. He was right, she knew he was, but she still wanted to help, despite her own reservations. Belphagor still deserved to know the truth about Lilith, her own feelings be damned. Plus, all of the brothers would be with her, she’d be safe. Hell, she’d even called _Lord Diavolo_ dense for trying to keep them apart.

She didn’t even have that much of an issue with Diavolo sending her back in time by herself. All she had to do was stay hidden and find out who let Belphagor out in the first place, It’d be easy enough.

It was when she showed up at the brothers hiding place that she realized that things would be more complicated then she expected.

She didn’t know how she managed to open the door to Belphagors room. But she did, and he was waiting for her.

And then he killed her.

She remembers the laughter, the jeering. She remembers him saying _”Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it.”_ She remembers the pain, and then _nothing_.

And then she heard a familiar voice.

She knew it was Lilith, the light washing over her was a comfort. _”I knew I made the right decision by choosing you”_ she’d said, and Viola had known what she meant.

This wasn’t the first time they’d met. Violas memories at the time were blurry, she’d been a child after all, but Lilith had saved her, and they’d been connected ever since.

Everything after that was a blur. She found them all in the front lobby, Mammon cradling her corpse, and Belphagor reveling in the chaos he’d caused. She’d explained it all, and Diavolo had corroborated her story.

In the end, she managed to save the day, the exchange program, and reunite the brothers. She’d achieved everything she’d wanted too. If this was a game, she’d certainly won it by now.

She should be happy. Everything was resolved now, a perfect little package tied with a tidy little bow. No loose ends and no more secrets to worry about. Everything was fine.

But she wasn’t happy.

 _“You’ll get over it”_ she tells herself “ _What choice do you have? You wanted this. You knew the risks and you still did it. Everyone else is happy now.”_

 _“Eventually.”_ The voice in her head said “ _You’ll see that this was all for the best.“_

She goes to sleep that night hoping that “eventually” happens soon.

||

At first, everything seemed alright.

Time went on. Belphagor was now a presence in her life, wether she wanted him to be or not. She did her best to help everyone adjust to the changes because really, what else could she do?

She tried to ignore the fact that her throat tightened around him, that every time he was near her she saw his aura at the corner of her eyes and had to repress the urge to glance back and make sure it really wasn’t there. She kept hearing _”Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it”_ and his laughter echoing inside her head, no matter how hard she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples and tried to shut it out.

Satan finds her like that in the library one day, and he simply looks at her and asks “Do you have a headache?”

“Yeah.” She’d said “Something like that.”

||

The thing is, it didn’t end with Belphagor.

Even when he wasn’t around her, her throat would still tighten. Her fists would clench into balls when she was in class and whenever she’d unclench them her palms would be marked with little crescent moons where her nails had dug in. She flinched more at loud noises, and found it harder and harder to concentrate. She thinks her grades might be slipping, but she really doesn’t have it in her to care.

She’s no stranger to stress and what it could do to a person. She was a history major before the devildom, and had spent many sleepless nights worrying about papers and presentations and group projects where one person wouldn’t _pull their fucking weight_. But back then she never had to deal with several threats to her life and a successful murder attempt, especially all in the span of a few months.

It wouldn’t be her first tango with PTSD and all of its lovely symptoms, but this was the first time in a while that it felt this bad.

 _”Well”_ She thinks to herself _”That’s what getting murdered will do to you.”_

||

She thinks she’s doing a pretty good job of keeping how she’s feeling under wraps.

The demon brothers are still as rowdy as ever, despite the lingering awkwardness around Belphagor. if they noticed that she flinched more whenever they started yelling over each other at breakfast or that the leftovers she’d been passing to Beel were more untouched than usual, they didn’t say anything about it. She simply assumed they just didn’t realize that anything was wrong.

It isn’t until one day in class when she realizes that maybe the cracks in her composure were more obvious than she thought.

She was in Devildom Law with Mammon, who was fiddling with his pen and idly staring out the window. She was trying to concentrate but she kept feeling like she saw a demons aura in the corner of her eye. She looks to her side once, just in case, but sees nothing.

It takes all of her restraint to keep herself from looking over her shoulder every five seconds as the professor drones on. Her teeth are grinding, her shoulders are tense, and her hands are balled into fists on top of her skirt.

 _“Keep it together”_ She tells herself _“_ _Nobody’s going to hurt you. It’s fine. You’re safe.”_

She didn’t realize that the professor dismissed class until Mammon stands up and taps on her desk, the one manicured finger tapping the spot right next to her woefully unfinished notes.

“Ey.” Mammon says as soon as the bell rings. “Easy on your hands. You’re fragile enough as is, y’know.”

She looks down at her lap and realizes that her hands are once again balled into fists, nails digging into her palms. She relaxes them and tries not to glance at her palms. She didn’t want Mammon to see the marks.

“You’ve been doin’ that a lot.” He says. “Is Devildom Law really that bad?”

“It keeps me awake.” She says, flashing a half smile. “If it weren’t for the pain I’d be asleep five seconds in.”

Mammon raises his eyebrows “I thought you nerd types ate that stuff up.”

“Well.” She says “Every rule has an exception.”

Mammon just rolls his eyes. “Y’know, a whole other millennia could pass and I still wouldn’t get ya.”

She has a feeling he’s talking about more than the subject at hand, but all she does is shrug as they both walk off to class together.

||

It’d make sense for Mammon to notice something was up. They spent a lot of time together, after all. He was her first man, and she trusted him the most out of everyone, even if she never told him so. (If she did, it’d inflate his ego even more and he’d never let her forget it.)

 _“Maybe it’s because he’s never tried to kill you”_ The voice in her head said “ _Or threatened you. Or lost control around you.”_

 _”Well, not all of them tried to kill me.”_ She tells herself “ _Levi was just angry, Beel was just angry about his custard and he wasn’t even trying to kill me. he just went on a rampage. Satan didn’t even try anything, he just threatened me. The only ones who ever tried to kill me were Lucifer but really, The first time I just got in his way.”_

 _“And what about the second time?”_ The voice in her head counters. “ _All you said to him was that you wanted them all to make up with Belphagor, and if it wasn’t for the rest of them coming to your rescue you’d just be a nice red smear on the library floor. It’s ironic, really. You almost died trying to save a man who actually killed you.”_

“I don’t like this train of thought.” She says to the empty air of her bedroom, pinching her nose. She tries to tell herself that it wasn’t all bad, they were demons and she’d flipped the switch on the deepest depths of their sins and after everything was said and done, she’d consider them her friends. She liked them, and it’d be unfair of her to hold something against them that they couldn’t help.

In all honesty, this was the first time she’d really thought about all of this. She’d brushed every near death experience off (Except for Lucifers, if only for the fact he did it twice, that was excessive). She’d hit the ground running in the Devildom, and she never really had the time to really think it all over.

Maybe she just never realized how close to death she came before she actually died.

||

It takes her a day of self introspection for her to open her D.D.D and text Solomon.

 **Viola** : Hey. I have a question.

 **Solomon** : Oh? This is a rare occurrence.

 **Solomon** : Ask away :)

She rolls her eyes and sighs to herself. Mammon looks over at her from his seat on the floor next to her bed, and she just gives him a shrug.

“What’s that supposed’ta mean? I can’t translate _shrugs_ ”

“I’m busy.” She says. “I’m texting Solomon.”

Mammon’s eyes instantly narrow, and she sees him adjust his shades. “Be careful around him.” He mutters. “That damn sorcerers up to no good, _I know it_ ”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re just mad because he beat you at poker that one time.”

_”He cheated and ya know it”_

“Maybe he did.” She shrugs again. “But you’ve got to admit, that takes skill, especially against a demon.”

Mammon just mumbles something and crosses his arms, and she just looks back at her phone.

 **Viola** : Has Asmo ever like.

 **Viola** : Threatened to kill you.

 **Solomon** : Hm. Not in any way that I’d find appropriate to describe over text.

 **Solomon** : :)

 **Viola** : I hate you both so much its unreal.

 **Solomon** : :))))))))

 **Solomon** : In all seriousness.

 **Solomon** : If you ever feel like you’re in danger, you can come to Purgatory Hall. No questions asked.

 **Viola** : Thanks.

 **Viola** : Also Mammon knows that you cheated at poker. Be careful when you see him next.

 **Viola** : I can only hold him off for so long.

She closes her D.D.D and gently tosses it on the bed as soon as she sends the last text. Solomon was hard to get a handle on, but his offer seemed sincere.

“What were ya textin’ about, anyway?” Mammon asks.

“Oh y’know.” She says. “Human stuff.”

“Ugh, he’s rubbin’ off on ya. I _knew_ it. I can only handle _one_ devious human-“

She simply reaches over and flicks him on the forehead, and he lets out a groan before opening his phone and checking Devilgram.

She flicks her phone back on and looks at Solomons texts again before she’s distracted by Mammon ranting about a credit card ad. Despite everything, having Mammon around always made her feel safer. He was always the first to intervene on her behalf whenever anything went wrong.

But it was always nice to have a contingency plan.

||

Eavesdropping is bad. She knows this, knows that she hates it when other people do it to her. (The amount of times she’d seen a bunch of Little D’s crowded outside of her window when she answered her phone was too much for her liking. )

But when the conversation is about her, she thinks that its a little justified.

It wasn’t like she set out to spy on them, she’d just been simply walking down the hallway to Mammon’s room. He texted her about needing some Hell Sauce Flavored noodles and asked her to pick them up because he was “settin’ some major bets” and didn’t have time to get them himself. She had agreed if only for the chance to get out of the house.

She hears the voices outside of the common area, and stops before she crosses the threshold of the doorway. Her eye twitches in irritation as she hears Mammon’s voice. It certainly didn’t _sound_ like like he was setting bets right now.

Right as she’s about to barge in and give him a piece of her mind, she hears a fragment of a sentence in Levi’s voice.

“- know what’s wrong with her?”

She freezes. Maybe he wasn’t talking about her, maybe it was about one of those girls from the animes he liked-

“Why’re ya askin me?” Mammon’s telltale voice snaps. “It ain’t my job t’ psychoanalyze her.”

“Wow. That’s a very big word. Congratulations, Mammon.” Satan says, and she hears his slow, rhythmic clapping.

“Waddya trying to say-“

“Don’t veer off topic, Big Brother.” Satan says. “If anyone noticed that something was wrong with her, It’d be you. We all know you care, so don’t try to deny it.”

“Uh, I noticed too!” Levi butts in. “We were playing this game and I yelled really loud when I won and she like, flinched so hard she nearly fell over.” Theres a brief pause, and when Levi speaks again his voice is softer. “I’ve never seen her act like that before. She’s so...stoic, y’know?”

“She ain’t a _rock_ , Levi.” Mammon says. “Ya just get too worked up playin’ those games of yours. No wonder she was startled.”

“The thing is that it isn’t just a single isolated incident.” Satan says. “Everyone’s noticed something, even Belphagor-“

She thinks that Satan noticed the sensitive topic he trod on, given that he immediately cut himself off. A heavy silence followed, and her heartbeat is echoing loudly in her ears.

“I ain’t sayin anything about any of this.” Mammon says. “Without her bein’ here. It ain’t right.”

She turns around and walks away, and all she hears is the heavy silence behind her.

||

She wasn’t really sure what to do with herself.

She could go to her room, but dinner was going to be ready soon and she didn’t want to be left alone with her thoughts right now. Plus there was a chance that they’d see her go to her room and see it as more “evidence” that something was _wrong_ with her and-

She shook her head. She couldn’t afford to get lost in her own thoughts right now. She needed to keep a clear head, she’d get over all of this eventually and then nobody would have anything to worry about.

 _”Why do you need to be the one to get over it?”_ The voice in her head says, _”Why can’t they see that their actions have consequences? Several of them are smart enough to realize that, if they can notice that something is wrong with you, why can’t they realize that something is wrong with them?”_

“They’re demons.” She mutters to herself in the middle of the hallway. “Their entire thing is embracing everything that’s _wrong_ with them.”

“Viola?”

She nearly jumps, but manages to suppress the urge and just turns around. Beel is leaning out of the kitchen and is looking at her with a faintly puzzled expression.

“Oh. Hi Beel.” She says, raising her hand up and giving him a half wave. “Do you need something?”

“I just...thought I heard you talking to someone.” He says. “I guess I misheard it...I must really be hungry.”

“Are you...on cooking duty today?” She asks.

“Yeah.” Beel answers. “Its devil shrimp night...but I keep having to start over because I keep accidentally drinking all of the sauce.”

She takes a second to just sit with the mental image of Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, drinking an entire pan full of sauce for 8 people before she shakes her head and looks at him.

“Do you want help?” She asks. “I can keep you from drinking it all again, I’ll get the squirt bottle and everything.”

She sees Beel shudder, but he nods regardless. “I just need someone to look over the shrimp so it doesn’t boil over while I make the sauce, is that okay?”

“Of course.” She says with a smile. “I can do that.”

A few minutes later the sauce is once again on the skillet and she’s standing next to him, keeping an eye on the giant pot of boiling devil shrimp while Beel keeps an eye on the sauce. It was starting to simmer now, and she cant help but be transfixed by the bubbling of the pot.

It was better than wallowing in her own thoughts, at least. The steam in the pot was starting to hiss and she turns the dial down.

The pot looks hot, obviously. She gently places her hand above it and can feel the warmth radiate into her fingers. Briefly, she wonders how it would feel if she were to slam her hand on top of the pot, if only because it’d give her an excuse to finally scream.

“Viola?”

She snaps back to herself just in time to turn the dial down right as the pot is on the verge of boiling over. Beel’s looking at her with a shred of concern as she jumps back from the pot as the lid rattles and water starts to leak out of the pot. It takes a second, but the water returns to a simmer and she lets out a sigh of relief.

“Are you alright?” Beel’s moved next to her and is looking down at her and the shrimp with a shred of worry.

“Yeah.” She responds. “The shrimp should be fine.”

Beel doesn’t say anything, and they spend the rest of the cooking time in relative silence.

||

In retrospect, she should’ve seen this coming.

She knew that things were worsening, that the cracks were starting to show and that the second shoe was bound to drop, but she was hoping that she could outrun it, that she could fix everything before it all went to hell (pun intended). She’d done it before, so why couldn’t she do it again?

But then again, nobody expects to be confronted by their murderer over dinner.

Despite being on edge from the events of the day so far, dinner was pleasant. She’s not sure if everyone is trying to make her feel better on purpose, but she still enjoyed hearing about the essay Satan was writing and the game Levi was playing, even if they had both gotten distracted when Lucifer found out about the illegal casino Mammon had been at (even if he had denied it). Satan and Asmo had immediately launched into color commentary, Levi had just sighed and gone back to his game, and Beel just kept eating his giant pile of devil shrimp without a care in the world.

The only person who was silent was Belphagor. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, he fell asleep at the table a lot and if he wasn’t sleeping he was about to fall asleep and whenever he was awake he just had a few drowsy, if annoying, quips. But all he was doing was fiddling with his food and staring at her. It was making her uncomfortable and she had to stop herself from reflexively touching her neck.

“So like,” Belphagor says “What’s your problem, anyway?”

She looks up from her plate of mostly untouched devil shrimp that she’d been pushing around. Belphagor is looking at her from across the table, his mostly impassive face marred by a shred of irritation.

“Are you.” She points to herself with her fork “talking to me right now?”

He rolls his eyes. “Well, duh. I’m looking right at you, aren’t I?”

She can hear the argument in the background still to a halt as Mammon stops pleading with Lucifer as his gaze shifts to her. Everyone else notices the shift because it’s a very rare occurrence for an argument between Lucifer and Mammon to end without the telltale growl of _”Mammon”_ and the ensuing _”Yikes!”_ that followed.

Viola knows what she should do, she should be diplomatic, and ask Belphagor to calmly explain what he meant. She should simply calmly ask him to talk to her when dinners over, so they can go over things privately and away from his brothers.

Viola does not do those things. It’s almost like her body moves on her own when she stands up, the action pushing her chair to the side with a brief sharp skidding noise. Her hands slam onto the table with a resounding _thump_ , and she’s glaring daggers at the youngest brother across the table from her.

“You want to know.” She says, her voice lower than she’s ever heard it. “What my _problem_ is?”

She sees Belphagors mouth open but if he said anything, she didn’t hear it. The silence in the dining room is deafening, and all she can hear is the blood rushing in her ears.

“My problem is that you _fucking_ killed me!.” She snaps. “I did all of this shit to free you, and you were _lying_ to me the entire fucking time! And even when I knew you were lying I _still_ stuck my neck out to get you free because I thought that once-once you all had a chance to talk about Lilith that maybe you’d change your mind! I even went back in fucking time so Diavolo would let you out! And what did you do?! You _fucking killed me!_ ”

She’s screaming at this point, tears pouring down her face but she doesn’t fucking care. She knows she should stop, quit while she’s ahead and she still has a hope of salvaging all of this, but she can’t.

All of the brothers are looking at her now, and the dining room is the quietest she’s ever remembered it being. She of all people should know that its near impossible to get all of the brothers to be silent, usually Lucifer was the only one of them that could pull that off, but right now they’re all staring at her and Belphagor like they were witnessing a duel and were waiting for the last shot to ring out over the horizon.

Nobody is moving, everyone is still stuck in their chairs and as the heaviness of their gazes bare into her, she can feel her shoulders start to rise and her teeth start to grind. She feels heavy, and the longer the brothers look at her like a bunch of sitting ducks the lower she feels herself sink. The only respite she gains in the ocean of stares is Mammon taking his sunglasses off and tucking them into his jacket.

She hears something scraping against the floor as the eldest moves his chair aside. Lucifer stands up and looks at her. She’s expecting a look of smoldering rage, but instead his face is mostly impassive as he looks down at her. She knows that she should be thankful that he isn’t trying to kill her right now, but all she can feel is the rage inside of her building up again.

“Viola.” He says. “I understand that things have been difficult-“

 _“Shut the fuck up, Lucifer”_ she snarls. “I fucking _died_ and you call that _difficult_?! _Difficult_ is when someone charges you for winning a _trivia contest_. _Difficult_ is when you get knocked out trying to defend your friends from their homicidal _older brother_. _Difficult_ is when someone threatens to tear you _limb from limb_ when you don’t want to make a pact with them. And _difficult_ is when you try and reunite a family but their head just decides to loose his temper _again_ and turn you into _a nice little red smear on the library carpet”_

Her voice is worn out and she’s more tired than she’s felt in years. She feels wobbly, and places a hand on the table. Mammon is hovering at her side, unsure of weather or not he should touch her, but she’s just too tired to even look at him.

The silence has returned with a vengeance, even if everyone has decided to stand up, no doubt following Mammon’s example. She’s expecting Lucifer to try and cut back with something, but he’s silent.

She decides that she’s done with this. She turns around and tries to walk away, only to feel someone grab her wrist.

She whirls around and comes face to face with Asmo. His grip on her wrist is gentle, and he looks her in the eyes. “Darling,” He says, a slight edge to his honeyed tone. “I understand that you’re upset-“

She’s about to tell him that _no_ he didn’t understand at _all_ , but then a voice cut through the silence.

“Let her go, bro.” Mammon says, unusually subdued. “Grabbin her’s not gonna help anything.”

Asmo looks like he wants to say something back, no doubt an insult, but she yanks her hand away from his grip before he has a chance.

“Viola.”

Beel’s voice isn’t angry, it just sounds sad, with a slight edge of tiredness. She looks across the room at the sixth brother and he looks so despondent that she feels her heart tug in her chest.

“Please don’t leave.” He says. “I know we’ve hurt you but please...don’t go.”

“I’m sorry Beel.” She says as she looks down at the floor. “I can’t stay. Please...just let me go.”

He doesn’t say anything as she walks out of the room, and besides the click of her shoes against the floor, the House of Lamentation was silent.


	2. It’s Not My Fault, I’m Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is an aftermath, and also a reprieve.
> 
> AKA. Viola Linn Gets Validated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off: Wow! I wasn’t expecting to get as much feedback as I did. To everyone who left comments and kudos and subscribed: Thank you! This is my first time sharing my writing on a ~public forum~ so it really means a lot. 
> 
> Second off: I listened to Mother Superior by Coheed and Cambria on loop while I was writing this so if you wanted a companion track I’d recommend that one. I’m actually thinking of releasing a companion playlist to this fic bc this is my life now. 
> 
> Third: The chapter title is from the song of the same name by Passion Pit

“I was honestly worried,” Simeon says. “Of how forgiving you seemed.”

She raises her eyebrows before she can stop herself. They’re sitting in the living room of Purgatory Hall, a teapot and teacups set out on the table. She hasn’t really drank much of it, but the warmth of the cup is a comfort against her hands.

She got here a few hours ago and Luke’s room was readily offered to her. She was expecting the smaller angel to complain, but all he did was stare at her until Simeon had gently asked him if she could stay in his room, and he had just nodded.

She had no idea she looked _that_ terrible, but she didn’t really care.

Despite the couch offered to her, she hadn’t been able to sleep. So instead she’d just walked the halls until Simeon had found her and asked if she wanted to talk.

After dinner, she felt like she’d never want to speak again. She even considered taking a vow of silence or something, maybe she’d just write anything she wanted to say on index cards for the rest of her life. But Simeon had this air about him that made her want to open up, and she did. The whole ugly story spilled out of her and Simeon had just nodded along and occasionally handed her a tissue. Shes not sure where the tissues even came from, there wasn’t a box anywhere in the room, but maybe it was just an angel thing.

“I thought” She said after a second had passed. “-that you would say I haven’t been forgiving enough. I thought that we were supposed to forgive all of our enemies.”

Simeon places his teacup down on his saucer and for a moment she sees something flicker through his eyes. She wouldn’t dare to call it hatred, that felt like it was bordering on blasphemy, but calling it _annoyance_ or _frustration_ seemed too light. She feels like whatever crossed Simeons mind didn’t have anything to do with the topic at hand.

“I don’t know what kind of angel I would be” he says “If I told someone who just confessed what you confessed to me that they weren’t doing _enough_. If anything, everyone’s been asking you to do too much.” He takes a breath. “You are right, we do preach forgiveness, but forgiveness does not need to be given freely. I’ve forgiven a lot in my years, but there are several things that I’ll _never_ forget.”

He looks at her, and whatever had seemed to be clouding his mind had vanished. His gaze is solid, but still kind.

“Forgiveness isn’t something that anyone else can tell you to give. I can’t make you forgive, and neither can they. Nobody has the right to ask that of you, rulers of hell or not.”

“They all forgave him.” She says, her voice barley an echo in her own mind. “And it seemed like they all forgot.”

Simeon just pulls her into a hug, and she grips his robe as she cries.

||

She somehow manages to get to sleep that night, probably because of whatever kind of tea Simeon gave her. Her sleep was thankfully dreamless, and she just drifted in her subconscious. It was nice.

She’s skipping class, she told Simeon and Luke as much before they left that moment, and they’d just nodded. Her grades are good enough that she can afford a few missed assignments. She thinks. She wonders if “I yelled at all of my hosts and had to leave my dorm” counts as an excused absence.

She hears a knock at her door and she feels anxiety set in. She’s half expecting Lucifer or Diavolo or hell, maybe even Barbados to be on the other side, ready to drag her back kicking and screaming to receive punishment for her actions, but when she opens the door all she sees is Solomon.

“Hello, Viola.” He says. “Can I come in?”

“...Sure.” She says, opening the door. “Do you need something?”

“No.” He gently steps into the room, standing to the side. “I just wanted to see how you were doing, if you don’t mind.”

“Don’t you...have class?” She asks. She didn’t share a lot of classes with the sorcerer, but she just couldn’t imagine His Highness King Solomon _skipping class_.

He shrugs. “I’ll just say I got held up dealing with some important business. Technically, I’m not lying.”

She doesn’t know how to respond to that. So she just gestures to the spot on the couch next to her and he sits. She doesn’t want him to have to stand the entire time he’s here.

“Let me guess.” She says. “Asmodeus told you about what happened, and you’re here to grill me.”

“First of all, I’m not going to ‘grill’ you.” Solomon says, making air quotes with his hands as soon as he says “grill”. At any other time but now, she’d find this hilarious. Solomon the Sorcerer, keeper of pacts with 72 demons and King of...somewhere, is saying the word “grill” with air quotes. But right now she can’t even muster a smile.

“Second of all, Asmodeus did tell me, but you showed up here a few days after you asked me over text if Asmodeus ever threatened to kill me and I told you that you could come here if you ever felt unsafe. I put two and two together as soon as he told me you left.”

She was expecting him to look proud of himself for his deduction, but instead he just looks impassive, his telltale smile gone from his face. “In all honesty, I...jumped to conclusions a bit when Asmodeus first told me. Perhaps I accused him of trying to hurt you. He’s been very cross with me for that, to be frank.”

“Well, he’s one of the few who hasn’t lost control around me.” She says. “Him and Mammon, anyway.”

“So you’re saying everyone else has?”

She doesn’t answer, and really, she doesn’t need to. She knows that her silence gives Solomon the answer he needs.

“Viola.” Solomon says “Permission to speak freely?”

“Why are you asking me? You’re a king, if anything you outrank me.”

“Is that a yes or a no?”

She can’t help it, she pinches her nose and sighs. “...It’s a yes. Speak freely, Solomon.”

“I believe that our dorm assignments should have been swapped.” he says. “I’m a sorcerer who is capable of fending for myself and I stay with Simeon and Luke, two angles who would never threaten my safety. Meanwhile, you, a mostly normal human, are living with the seven most powerful demons in the Devildom. Not to imply that you can’t handle yourself, but in the event anything went wrong you had no way of defending yourself.”

“I thought that putting me with them was supposed to protect me.” She says. “It’s supposed to discourage the other demons from hurting me, they were supposed to keep me _safe_.”

She’s expecting Solomon to keep pressing on, to ask her another question about her safety and apparent lack thereof, but instead he just gently places a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” He says. “That they failed you.”

She wants to say that they didn’t _all_ fail her, that Mammon tried to save her from Levi, that if it weren’t for the combined efforts of them that Lucifer really _would_ have killed her in the library, but she can feel her throat closing up again, and she just nods silently.

“I’m sorry,” Solomon says “If my line of questioning was too much. I just know that your safety hasn’t been the priority it should be.”

He reaches over to her and hands her a ring. She can feel the magic on it (maybe her angel senses?) but she knows that it isn’t as powerful as the ring he lent her back at the retreat.

“It’s to summon me.” He explains. “Just call for me while you’re wearing it, and the magic will do the rest.”

“...Summon you?” She says, looking up from her palm. “..You can be _summoned_?”

“Yes.” He says, offering no other explanation. “If you need help, just call me and I’ll come.”

“I...thank you.” She says. “That means a lot.”

He just nods as he stands up. “It’s the least I could do for you.”

He grabs his things and leaves, but not before extending her an offer to come by anytime if she needed anything. She stares at the silver ring in her palm long after he leaves, before sliding it on her finger.

||

Her D.D.D has been mercifully silent.

She’s not sure if the brothers are all keeping their distance, or if Lucifer has forbidden them from making contact. But she knows that if he _did_ do that, most of the brothers would defy him and try to contact her anyway.

Maybe she’d angered them all. Maybe Satan went on a rampage and broke all of their phones, he didn’t seem too mad when she left, more shocked like the rest of his brothers, but there was a good chance that once the shock had worn off he’d gone on a rampage. A phone smashing rampage.

That probably wasn’t the case, he’d be toast before he even got his hands anywhere _near_ Lucifers phone. They’d all decided to leave her alone, and they’d come to this decision as a unit or individually, each brother looking inside of himself and deciding that they had no desire to talk to her after her little explosion.

She’s not sure which one makes her feel worse.

Part of her misses it, she misses the digital chaotic chatter of the brothers, and she even misses those little bird demon stickers. But she’s still thankful for the silence, even if it was brought on by resentment. She didn’t know how she’d deal with several texts that all said _”Why?”_ or _”How could you?”_ or _”What’s wrong with you? You’ve never acted like this before.”_ or variations thereof.

It was difficult to not know how they were feeling about everything that happened in the last day, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to text them about it. (Pun intended).

And she definitely wasn’t going to apologize. She might have exploded, but that didn’t mean she was _wrong_.

Maybe she could’ve handled that better. She’d never _lost control_ in her life, she was good at appearing calm and indifferent to everything, and people had written her off as generally unbothered and “hard to get a handle on” at best. At worst, everyone thought that she was cold and uncaring, perhaps even the brothers thought that about her at first.

She can’t help but laugh to herself, because, if anything, they definitely didn’t feel that way about her _now_.

||

It’s the next day that she receives a summons.

“Lord Diavolo wants to see you.” Simeon had said.

“Ah.”

It was all she could say. It wasn’t like she could say _no_ , even as an outsider she knows that you can’t refuse a summons from the (future) ruler of hell.

But then again, what could he do? Kill her again?

“I can go with you.” Simeon says. “If you want, of course. I doubt that Diavolo would try anything against an angel.”

“Thank you.” She says. “He’s... hard to get a handle on. Despite everything, Lucifers still pretty predictable.”

Simeon covers his mouth and she can swear that she hears muffled laughter. But he composes himself supernaturally quickly.

“I see what you mean, but Diavolo has proven that he wishes to keep this exchange program going, no matter the cost. Attacking you would be _very_ counterproductive.”

She laughs, but its humorless and sounds more like nails scraping over wood.

“That didn’t stop him from keeping me in the House of Lamentation.”

She wants to add _”That didn’t stop him from sending me after a murderer by myself”_ or _”That didn’t stop him from keeping me in the same house as Lucifer after he knocked me out”_ and several other things. Diavolo seemed to be a just near-king, a man dedicated to the unity of the realms, and she would never deny that. But from her (human) standpoint, as someone who was effectively in his custody, it all felt a little...negligent.

Simeon just nods at her little confession. “You’re right. It didn’t.”

“Well.” She says “We might as well get this over with.”

She walks out of the room, and Simeon follows behind her.

||

“You’re probably wondering why I called you here today.”

Diavolo is looking over at her from his desk. His tone is friendly, but she doesn’t know how far that perceived friendliness goes. He could be furious, for all she knows. He’d been pretty put together when he and Barbados came in to bind Belphagors and take him away, after all.

(It always came back to Belphagor, didn’t it?)

She looks back at him. The tea that Barbados had brought in was untouched on the table, but Simeon was silently eating a cookie. She knows that he knows why she’s here, and he knows that she knows. His question was merely a formality, but she doesn’t have much patience for those right now.

“I’m here“ She says “-so you can tell me what a hypocrite I’ve been.”

Diavolo does look surprised when she says _that_ , and even Simeon stops munching on his cookie and looks at her. She thinks that Barbados is looking at her too, but she isn’t going to look behind her to check.

In all honesty, Barbados probably knew this was going to happen.

“Why would I say that?” Diavolo says, and he honestly sounds confused.

“Well, you’re too nice to say it to me directly,” She’s not looking at him, instead she’s looking down at her teacup, still full. “-but it’s still the truth. I was the one who advocated for Belphagors release, I was the one who called you dense for separating them, and I was the one who told you that he hadn’t done anything yet and thus _wasn’t guilty_. But I’m here right now because-“ She can feel her voice start to break, and takes a second to swallow the lump in her throat down. “-because he killed me. And no matter how hard I tried I just couldn’t let it go. I couldn’t let _any_ of it go. So I lost it, I yelled at him, and I yelled at everyone else, and then I left.”

She’s as rigid as a corpse right now, and she can feel Simeon gently reach over and place a hand on her back.

“I don’t think that you’re a hypocrite.”

She slowly looks up from the table at Diavolo. He’s still looking at her, she doesn’t think he ever stopped, but his gaze holds no reproach and she knows that he’s telling the truth.

“You were right, at that time, Belphagor hadn’t done anything, all he’d done was have a plan. I sent you back in time with the knowledge of that. You’re hardly a hypocrite for not expecting what happened.” He sighs, and looks to the side. “I was the one who sent you back in time to find out how a man who wanted to murder your kind was freed. If anything, I bear the blame.”

She just blinks at him, and Simeon seems to be looking at him as well. But Diavolo doesn’t seem distracted by them, he just clears his throat and continues on.

“When Lucifer knocked you unconscious over the grimoire,” He says, and Viola has to stop herself from flinching at the memory. “I talked to him. I told him that I understood why he was angry, that he was worried about his brothers being threatened, but-“ He raises his hand. “I told him to think about who wasn’t being given the choices they should be, who was suffering from a lack of options.”

“You...” She says. “You meant me.”

“Yes.” He answers. “I try not to interfere with the brothers, their relationship is a long and complicated affair and ever since Lilith things have just kept getting more and more...complex. I felt like it would be uncouth of me as an outsider to step in. But you were never given that choice, and all I can do is tell you how deeply sorry I am.”

Viola just stares at him, and she’s pretty sure her jaw is on the floor. The Student Council President of RAD and future King of the Devildom had just _apologized_ to her. She looks around to check and see if the Devildom has started to freeze over, but everything looks the same.

“For what it’s worth.” Diavolo continues “You have helped them, I’ve noticed a change in them ever since you arrived, even in Lucifer. But that doesn’t invalidate anything that’s happened to you so far. When I first talked to Lucifer, I hoped it would be enough, but obviously, it wasn’t.”

“Lord Diavolo.” She says. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” He says. “You can always come back if you have anything you want to discuss, but I have a few more things to tell you.”

“You’ve been excused from RAD for the next two weeks. Your work will be brought to Purgatory Hall so you can keep up with the curriculum. I’ve also barred the brothers from contacting you, the only exception being if you reached out to them first. I didn’t want them causing any...undue stress.”

“Wait.” She blurts out “That was _you?_ ”

She sees his mouth tilt up in a slight smile. “The one and only.”

It makes sense, honestly. Sure, the brothers would defy an order from Lucifer, but from _Lord Diavolo_? They wouldn’t dare, no matter how they griped about Lucifers devotion to the man

Diavolos smile fades as he continues to talk. “Regarding Belphagor, If you desire it, I can take him back into custody. He did murder you, even if you...recovered. This offer extends to anyone who makes you feel unsafe.”

“I...appreciate that.” She says. “But right now, I’m not really sure what I want.

He simply nods at her. “That’s perfectly fine, take all of the time you need.

||

“Well.” She says to Simeon as soon as they exit Diavolos office. “That went better than I expected.”

“I’m glad.” he says with a smile.

Its halfway on their way back that she notices that he’s looking at her. He looks...confused, for lack of a better term, glancing between her and the approaching outline of Purgatory Hall.

“Viola.” He says. “Forgive me for asking, but you came to the hall last night, correct?”

“...yes.” She says. “It was an hour or so after...everything happened.”

“I’m sorry if I’m...intruding on anything.” He says “But did you come to the hall alone? I just worry about you being all alone in the dark.”

“I wasn’t alone.” She tells Simeon before she can think anything of it

“Mammon brought me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ll get back to the brothers soon, but I wanted to write about everyone who’s outside of the brothers reaction to this, because I have a hard time believing that they’d simply just accept everything that happened to MC if they knew the full story. 
> 
> I know that people think that Solomon is evil but personally I just see him as a fundamentally good, if shifty, guy. Also hes fun.


	3. Iscariot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -Slides this across the table at you while I point at the MC/Mammon tag and the Mammon cares tag-

When she left the House Of Lamentation, she didn’t leave out the front door.

That’d be the dramatic thing to do, run out the door into the night with her words leaving a stinging trail behind her. Hell, part of her wanted to do that, if only for the sheer audacity of it all.

It wasn’t like she could make things worse.

If Lucifer had brought out his wings she would’ve run. If she’d seen any flashes of power or demonic auras she would’ve ran. She was sick and fucking tired of standing her ground and hoping someone else would save her.

But they didn’t, and after Beel’s last words she’d simply walked to her room. _”You still need your stuff.”_ the rational voice of her mind said, and she couldn’t really argue with that.

To her credit, she didn’t start crying again until she’d closed the door.

She’s not sure when the tears stopped but eventually, she pulls herself up from off of the floor and starts packing. She feels separated from herself, like shes watching some other hollow and haggard looking girl throwing clothes into her bag. She watches herself and wonders what anyone besides her would think about it all.

She wonders if they’d think she was justified. Maybe they would. Maybe they’d wonder why she put up with it all for so long, why she didn’t do this all earlier? Why didn’t she run out the door as soon as Levi charged her over a trivia contest and never look back?

Maybe they’d think she’d had it coming. These were demons, Avatars of the seven deadliest sins and here she was, trying to bind them to her to free a demon she knew next to _nothing_ about. Maybe if she just ignored the voice in the attic like she was _supposed to_ everything would’ve been fine.

But then again, if she hadn’t Belphagor would’ve been stuck there and who knows what he would’ve done. Maybe he’d wait for another human to stumble in and free him. Maybe he would’ve forced the issue.

(She touches her neck before she can stop herself.)

She wonders if this metaphorical person watching her would wonder if this was all inevitable. After all, she was connected to Lilith, she was _chosen_ , she was the one who was supposed to unite them all. No matter what she did, it was all going to end the same. She was going to die, the timelines would slide together and apart, and it would all end the same. Lilith, long dead but her memory revived, and her, dying in the foyer from wounds inflicted by Lilith’s favorite brother.

Maybe this metaphorical audience of one would find it ironic. She knew she did.

||

She didn’t hear the knock on her door at first. She was to busy packing (or trying to pack, all she’d really done was toss some of her clothes in her duffel bag while staring at the wall).

The thing that startled her the most was someone actually _knocked_. Most of the time her door was just thrown open and she had to deal with whatever happened next. She’s still hesitant to answer it, who knows who’s on the other side, but then her D.D.D buzzes.

**Mammon** : hey

**Mammon** : its me

**Mammon** : not gonna hurt ya

She instantly goes to the door and opens it, if only so she could see him before she started crying again. He’s standing right outside of the doorframe, slightly slouched over and standing still.

For a second, they just look at each other. She knows she looks terrible, she’s been crying, her eyes felt sore and her head was throbbing. Her hair had come undone from her braid and was sticking to her face, and she pushes it back behind her ears. Might as well fix what she could.

Mammon doesn’t look super great himself, his hair is also sticking up more than it usually does, and his telltale glasses were still stuck in his jacket pocket. She wondered why he wore those all the time, the Devildom was a world of endless dark and they sure didn’t _seem_ like they were prescription.

Finally, Mammon breaks the silence.

“Y’know.” he says. “I’ve been wantin’ to tell Lucifer to shut the fuck up for years.”

She can’t help it, she laughs. It starts as a hysterical squeak and builds up to involuntary shrieks. She slams her hand over her mouth because the last thing she needs is everyone thinking she’s gone _crazy_ , but she can’t seem to get herself to stop.

To Mammon’s credit, he just stares at her and doesn’t turn tail and run to his room. He didn’t even have a tail to turn, anyway.

“Well.” She says when she finally manages to calm down. “I’ll remember that when I’m hanging in the foyer for the next millennia.”

Its a joke, but Mammon still stiffens. They both know that Lucifer hasn’t declared any official punishments for anyone (yet, at least), but she knows that hanging from the foyer is probably one of the _least_ extensive punishments the Avatar of Pride could foist on her. At least she knew that Lord Diavolo would be displeased if she starved to death up there.

Its at that point that Mammon looks over her shoulder. She can tell that he sees the bags by the way his eyes narrow, but when he looks back to her he doesn’t look angry, just tired and a little sad.

“Where’re ya goin’?” He asks.

“Purgatory hall. Solomon said I could stay there if...anything happened.”

She’s half expecting him to fly into a rage at the sorcerers name, but instead he just nods. She’s a little put off by how uncharacteristically _silent_ he was, the only time she’d seen him this subdued was when Lucifer had to save her from Levi.

“Well.” He says. “Let’s get goin’”

“Yeah, sure, I just need to grab my-wait, what?!”

Mammon just fixes her with a look that practically _screams_ “stupid human”. “Ya really didn’t think I was gonna let you walk there alone in the dark, didya? You’d get swiped up in two seconds by any hungry half bit demon that saw ya.”

“You don’t need to tell me twice.”

It comes out harsher than she intends, and Mammon stiffens a bit.

“What about Lucifer?” She says “I don’t think he’ll be happy to hear that you’re _aiding my escape_.”

“Well, he wouldn’t want ya out there alone. Honestly, we’re fucked no matter what we do.”

Was he joking? She looks at him again but he’d put his sunglasses back on so she can’t look at his eyes, but he wasn’t smiling. More alarmingly, whenever Mammon set out to do something he _knew_ Lucifer was going to hate he was gung ho about it until the point he’d get caught, which usually resulted in him pleading for forgiveness or running away, but right now he just didn’t seem to _care_.

If she was less tired, she’d be more concerned, maybe she’d’ even ask him why, even if they both already knew the answer.

Instead, she just grabs her things, shrugs, and says “You’re right. Lets go.”

||

They didn’t talk on the walk over, and she was thankful for it.

It wasn’t until he’d lead her to the door of Purgatory Hall that he looked at her.

“Ya said that someone threatened ya when ya didn’t make a pact with em’” he says, she can’t really see him in the dark, but the moonlight is reflecting off of his sunglasses, and she feels a little bit like a deer in the headlights. “Who was it?”

“Satan.” she says, surprising herself when she didn’t even hesitate. “I guess he should get points for not actually going through with it.”

Mammon doesn’t say anything, just nods at her.

“I ain’t leavin’ till you go inside.” He says. “So get a move on, got it?”

“Got it.” She says. “And Mammon? Thank you, really.”

Finally, she sees him smile.

“No problem, fragile human.” He says with a shake of his head. “No problem at all.”

||

“It sounds like you found his behavior concerning.”

She looks back over at Simeon. They were once again sitting in the same room as before, tea and all. She’d actually drank a little this time, maybe her appetite was coming back after all.

“Yeah.” She said. “Its like...I’m so used to the bravado and the bragging. Like I know that theres more to him than that but I’ve never seen him look that...serious. Even when he was _mad_ at me all he did was make very loud announcements over how much he was ignoring me until I started trying to kick his door in.”

“Do you think he’s mad at you?”

“That’s the problem, Simeon.” She says “I don’t know. This is the first time that he’s ever been unreadable to me.”

_And that scares me_ she thinks. _Its an unknown variable. An unprecedented event with no prior history of its kind. A problem I have no idea how to solve and one that I’ve probably caused._

“Viola?”

She jolts back to herself. “Its just. I don’t know what he’s feeling and if he hates me now or whatever. And its probably my fault but-but if it _is_ my fault then I’m mad at him because I’m the one who died and not him so why does _he_ get to be weird about it!?”

She wasn’t intending to yell, but her voice was raising nonetheless. When she stops, she pinches her nose and takes a deep breath. Breathe in, breathe out.

Simeon gently places a hand on her shoulder. “I highly doubt that he hates you.” He says. “It would take a lot for that, trust me.”

She squints up at him. “How do you know that?”

He just smiles. “Call it a hunch.”

||

The rest of the day goes by as normal, she does her homework, eats with Luke Simeon and Solomon, and just tries not to think about anything.

_”You could try talking to him.”_ Simeon had said. _”He’ll answer you if you ask.”_

_Would he?_ She wonders. Maybe he’d snapped out of whatever was effecting him that night, and he’d just answer with a standard _”Hey Viola”_. Maybe he’d even ask to borrow some money, for old times sake.

Or maybe he really was angry. Maybe he’d answer the phone and pretend not to know who she was. Maybe he wouldn’t answer at all.

||

She’s...somewhere. The only thing she can see is light, a soft golden glow thats washed over everything. It feels familiar, she feels at ease, its almost as if-

“Lilith?”

She calls the eighth of the eighths name out, but all she hears is her own voice echoing back at her.

“Lilith?”

Still nothing.

“Please answer me.”

Nothing.

“Why?” She yells into the void. “Why aren’t you answering! Why aren’t you _here_!?”

Thunk.

Something lands at her feet and she looks down and at first, all she sees is the blood, oozing onto the soles of her shoes, she looks again and-

Oh.

Its her.

She’s looking at her corpse and this time, it isn’t fading away into light. There’s no Barbados, no Lilith, and nobody to save her.

The scene lurches, and she’s in the foyer, Liliths light vanishing into the distance. She jumps over her body and runs towards it, towards Lilith.

“Why did you choose me!” She’s screaming. “Did you know this was going to happen?! _How could you-_ ”

She feels her face hit something and oh.

She’s on the floor.

||

“Are you okay, Viola?” Luke says as he moves his hand away from her face. He’d managed to heal her nose with his angelic magic, and all the evidence that remained from her tumble from his couch were a few streaks of blood from when her face had met the hardwood floor.

“I’ll uh, clean that up.” She says pointing to the blood on the floor. After all, she was a guest, she should clean up after herself.

Luke vigorously shakes his head, instead waving his hands and causing the blood to disappear.

“That must be convenient.” She says. “Great for dealing with spills.”

Luke rolls his eyes. “Solomon says that to. He has me come over to his room and clean up his spills _all the time._ ”

She smirks a little, that sounded like him.

“I’m going to go clean up.” She says to Luke. Her nose might be healed, but she could still feel the blood on her face.

She goes into the bathroom, but instead of wiping the blood off or even looking at herself in the mirror she grabs her phone, opens up Mammon’s contact info, and slams on the call button.

In retrospect, she didn’t know what made her decide to call him. Maybe it was the head trauma impacting her judgement, or maybe the nightmare had made her frazzled and also impacted her judgment. Maybe both of these things had impacted her judgement. Or maybe her judgment was clear and she just needed to hear from him and couldn’t bear to put it off anymore.

Its when she hears the ringtone of Mammon’s D.D.D that she realize exactly what the fuck shes doing. She’s in the bathroom, she has blood on her face and she’s waiting for Mammon to pick up the phone. Maybe he wouldn’t, maybe he was asleep and she can just pretend that it didn’t happen-

_“-ello?”_

Theres a pause, and she’s willing herself to say something, but he beats her to it.

_“Viola? Is that-”_

“Do you hate me?”

She blurts it out before she can stop herself, and all she hears is confused sputtering on the other line.

_“Viola it’s midnight what are ya-Is somethin-“_

“Just. Just answer the question. _Please_.”

Theres a long pause. Part of her worries that he’s hung up but she still hears the slight crackle of static on the other end.

_“‘Course I don’t.”_ He says. _“I could never.”_

She lets out a sigh of relief as she feels herself sag onto the floor. Shes still holding onto the phone like a lifeline, but she feels a little lighter now.

_”Ya feel better now”_

“Yes, actually.”

_”Good. Now why the hell are ya callin’ me at midnight askin’ if I hate ya?! I thought my soul was gonna leave my body-“_

“Its just. You were being weird when we left! Talking about how-how we were fucked and asking about who threatened me and you were-you were so _quiet_ and I’m just not used to that!” She’s trying to keep her voice down, the last thing she needs is Luke hearing any of this.

_”Hey, the GREAT Mammon is capable of treatin’ serious situations with the gravity they deserve.”_ He snaps, even though she knows there’s no heat behind it. _”PlusIwasactuallyconcerned”_

“What was that?”

_”...Nothin”_

“Thought so.” She answered. She heard, they both knew that she heard, but she didn’t have the energy to break the implications of all of that down tonight.

_”So.”_ Mammon says. _”Are ya...alright?”_

“It depends on your definition of ‘alright’” She says. “Physically, I’m fine, I talked to Diavolo and he told me about the whole ‘no contact unless I say so’ thing. And he’s not going to hang me in the foyer.”

She hears Mammon grumble on the other end of the line. _”He coulda told ya sooner. We’ve all been worried sick-”_

“Really.” She says. “All of you?”

Mammon goes silent on the other end of the line, no doubt realizing the minefield he’d walked into.

_”Yeah.”_ He says. _”All of us, even if not everyone’s sayin’ it. Some of em have been sayin’ it a lot, especially when Lucifer and Belphie ain’t around-“_

“Mammon.” She says. “I’m sorry, but can we not...talk about this right now?”

_”Gotcha”_ he says. _”Who wants to talk about those losers anyway?”_

Mammon can’t see it, but she’s smirking.

“Look.” She says. “I gotta go, I’m in the bathroom in Lukes room and he might think that I di-passed out or something. I’ll call you back later.”

_”Ey, why ya gotta do that? Is the chihuahua barkin’ that loud again?”_

She sighs. “He’s not-whatever. If I’m in here for too long he might call somebody over or something, and it’ll cause a whole other thing.”

_”Viola-“_

“Talk to you later.”

She hits the “hang up” button and tucks her D.D.D back into her pocket. She makes sure to wipe the blood off of her face before she leaves.

She manages to spend the rest of the night in a dreamless sleep.

||

To her credit, she does call Mammon back.

She texted him first, asking him to tell her when he’d be alone so she could call him. When he’d asked why she told him that she wasn’t interested into their call becoming an impromptu 7-way, and he’d agreed after claiming that he “realized what she meant the whole time, no really.”

He texts her that he’s alone in his room at around 9. (Or whatever would be considered 9 PM in a land of eternal night, at least), and she hits the call button.

In the time she’s had between her frantic midnight call and now, she’s gone over everything she’d wanted to ask him. None of them were _easy_ questions, but she’d stopped doing things the easy way when she’d called everyone out and ran away.

She knows that she could just try and finish her year quietly in Purgatory Hall, avoiding the brothers and keeping her head down, but she just couldn’t leave things the way they were. Maybe it was her stubborn, meddling ways that Lucifer seemed to loathe, or maybe it was because she did still care about the brothers deep down.

Or maybe she wanted some goddamn apologies. Sure, she knew that dragging them out of the Seven Rulers Of Hell wasn’t going to be easy, but neither was dying and living with your murderer.

She hears the phone line click as a familiar voice answers.

_”Viola?”_

“Yeah, it’s me.” She says. “I’ve got a few more questions.”

_”Shoot”_

“Is anyone sorry?” She asks. “For anything?”

She’s had time to calm down, but despite her attempts to keep a level head her voice is still raw. She feels embarrassed, she wanted to try and keep herself as neutral as possible, to try and cling onto some shred of stability and convince him that she wasn’t hysterical and crazy.

_”...I dunno.”_ He answers _”Everyone’s been...weird since ya left, everyones all quiet and shit, I haven’t seen Belphie and Lucifer at all, but Satan n’ Asmo have been talkin’ sometimes, but they always stop when I’m around, ya think they’d respect me as their older brother but-.”_

“So nobody’s sorry.”

_”Now I think thats a little to-“_

“Well, nobodies apologized, nobodies said ‘Oh man, we should apologize to Viola for trying to kill her and succeeding on one count’ so I’m just going to assume that none of you are sorry.”

_”Hey!”_ Mammon snaps. _”I didn’t even do any of that-“_

“You _forgave_ him!” She snaps back. “He _killed_ me, was planning to kill _all humans_ , and you all just act awkward around him like he stole one of your girlfriends or something-“

_”Who the fuck says I forgave him?!”_

She can feel her jaw snap shut as whatever was left of her tirade died in her throat. She almost drops her phone, but she manages to tighten her grip right before it can slip out of her grasp.

“You...haven’t?” She says, but her voice sounds so far away from her and him and _everything_.

_”No.”_ He answers, and she hears the exhaustion in his voice. _”I haven’t, thats the truth, Viola.”_

“I just-“ She says. “Everyone was acting so...normal around him I just thought that everyone decided to forget about what he did. About everything.”

_”...He killed you.”_ Mammon’s voice is so soft, and at first she barley hears it. _”He killed you and all I could do was watch. But then you were there again and you were fine and I-I didn’t know what to think. I don’t think any of us knew what to think. It’s just...you were fine and ya seemed fine and the version of you that was dyin’ was gone and I just thought-I thought it ended with her when she disappeared.”_

“It didn’t” She said. “He killed that other me, but it was _me_. I was there and I felt it all.”

_”Its just...nobody talked about it and all I know about humans is that they die. And you died and came back and ya didn’t say anything about it but something was wrong and I just- something was wrong but I didn’t know how to fix it and nobody ever-nobody ever said that something needed to be fixed.”_ He sighs, and she can hear more faint grumbling.

“Are you trying to pin this on me?” She says, she feels angry, but all she really has to fuel her are dying embers. “Are you saying that if I just _said something_ this would all-“

_”I don’t fuckin’ know, okay?!”_ He snaps again. _”Maybe it would, I dunno, but I ain’t pinning this on ya. I just-I just didn’t know what the fuck to do.”_

_”I’m sorry, Viola.”_ he says, and he sounds choked up, and she can feel her throat start to tighten again. _”I’m bad at this emotional gushy stuff but...I am.”_

It’s taking all of her energy not to burst into tears, but she manages to swallow it down long enough to say. “Thank you Mammon. Thank you for saying it.”

She manages to force out a quick “gimme a second” before she puts her phone face down on the couch and starts sobbing. She knew that she should hang up, but she feels like if she does then she’d be giving up right after she’d gotten what she needed. So she keeps Mammon on the line and hopes that the sofa muffles the speakers enough so he won’t hear her cry.

She picks the phone up when she’s calmed down, and Mammon is still on the line, even if he was midway through telling her his plan to steal everything she owned if she didn’t get back on the line soon.

“Mammon.” She says. “One more question.”

She doesn’t hear him answer, but he doesn’t deny her, so she decides to press on.

“Did everyone else think that too? That I didn’t feel him kill me? That it wasn’t really me who died?”

_”I dunno, really. You’d hav’ta ask em.”_ He answers. _”Barbados’s time travel shit was confusin’ as all hell. Maybe Satan figured it out, probably read somethin’ about it all in one of those books o’ his.”_

“Huh.” She says. “I guess I will have to ask them all, won’t I?”

_”Only if ya want to.”_ Mammon answers. _”But I have a feeling you’re gonna do it no matter what.”_

“Its either that or spend the rest of my school year on Lukes couch.” She says. “Plus, I have a hard time keeping business unfinished.”

She hears Mammon laugh on the other side of the line. _“Ya sure do, Viola”_ he says. _”Ya sure do. But if ya do, I’m goin with ya, if I catch any of them cryin’ I could probably make a killin’ selling the pics on social media-“_

“Let me reach my emotional closure first, Mammon.”

_“Yeah, of course. You’re the only person who’d get me to chose closure over money.”_

“I know.” She says. “Goodnight Mammon, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

_“Night.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone’s confused as fuck, man. 
> 
> Anyway Mammon/Viola is my Otp, this isn’t a romance fic but whenever they talk chemistry happens. 
> 
> Chapter title is from Iscariot by Walk the Moon.


	4. Laugh Before You Grin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! This fic is still a thing!
> 
> Tbh I was kinda feeling...unsatisfied with how this fic was turning out and I kinda had writers block and had no idea what was going to happen next. But i was able to put this chapter together, so I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> Chapter title is the song of the same name by Lydia

“So.” Solomon says. “Your plan is to start with Satan?”

Hearing that sentence sent an all too familiar spike of fear through her raised-catholic heart, but Viola nods none the less.

(She leaves out the fact that Satan was second on her metaphorical list because Mammon brought his name up first. She’d rather let everyone think that she’d actually put some critical thought into this.)

“Despite his...assigned sin.” She says, looking to the side. “He’s always been pretty reasonable in my experience. He’s as good a place to start as any.”

She remembers when she and Beel had come back from Purgatory Hall after Belphagor had been dragged away, and she was as hollow and as shocked as anyone had ever seen her. Asmo was the one who greeted them with a sharp lecture, and she was expecting the same from Satan, but he’d just taken stock of the situation and had offered them advice on how to resolve it.

She’d appreciated it at the time, and she’d be lying if she wasn’t craving reassurance. Maybe he’d be willing to give it to her again, if he wasn’t too angry to even look at her.

Solomon nods. “Are you planning on talking to him alone?”

“No, Mammons coming.” He’d insisted on it, saying something about her Lack Of Self Preservation and needing his protection or something.

Solomon nods. “That’s a wise decision.”

“It wasn’t...my idea.” She says, looking to the side. “I haven’t been making a lot of _wise decisions_ lately. “

“Personally.” Solomon says. “I think that everyone would agree that you’re entitled to a few bad decisions after everything.”

She just smiles and shakes her head. She’d played the diplomat and the defender for so long that the idea of being _anything else_ felt like she was breaking some sort of rule.

||

Viola has never been very intimidating.

She’s 5’1” and she barley comes up the the shoulders of most people. Her presence has never been very large, and she has a tendency to blend into the background. Whenever she was noticed, it was because others saw her as strange and off-putting, and made no secret of letting her know it.

(In all honesty, “strange” or “off-putting” were some of the nicer words others used to describe her.)

She couldn’t really fight back, she was to small, her body was too weak and she’d be overpowered easily. But it wasn’t like she could ignore it all, she wasn’t going to let people stomp all over her pride and get away with it.

So she started using her words. She became very good at cutting people down with some well picked phrases and a few pointed glances. At the very least people knew she wasn’t taking anything from them lying down, and she refused to give them that victory over her.

So, when Satan had flung threats at her after she’d rejected his pact the first time around, she’d simply rolled her eyes and had told him that she wasn’t going to let him use her and her pacts to one up his brother just because he was having some identity issues.

Viola has always been aware that her words had consequences. Sometimes someone would yell insults at her and she’d just shrug them off and walk away. Sometimes they’d threaten her, and she’d just shrug and walk away. And sometimes they’d try and hurt her, and she’d run away as fast as she could.

It wasn’t like she could do anything else.

She didn’t run away from Satan. Even if she had, he probably would’ve been able to catch her easily. She’d just stood her ground and waited for him to calm down. But then Lucifer had run in and they’d both grabbed that book and their bodies were switched and everything had shifted from Satans wrath against her to dealing with the situation at hand.

At the time, she’d honestly been offended that he’d use her pact gaining mission in such a way. She was doing something important here, trying to free Belphagor from the attic and reunite the brothers. She didn’t have time to entertain his spite.

Oh, how the tables had turned.

||

It takes her less time for her to text Satan then it did for her to call Mammon. Maybe talking about it and forming a plan had made her more confident. Or maybe she just didn’t care anymore.

She kept it simple, just simply sending him a message that said that she wanted to talk about everything. His reply was short and to the point, and he’d agreed to talk to her on “neutral ground”.

“Neutral ground” turned out to be a bookstore Satan was a fan of. The owner let her into a back room, one that Satan had no doubt gained access to either from his continuous patronage or from a bribe.

He’s sitting there, as well put together as ever, jacket slung over one shoulder. She had no idea why he never just put his damn arm in the sleeve, but that wasn’t her business. She takes a seat

Mammon was there, of course. He was eyeing Satan from the wall he was standing at, and Satan was looking away. He looked a little...uncomfortable, and Viola wasn’t sure what the deal with _that_ was, but it didn’t seem to just be chalked up to her presence.

“I would like,” Satan says after a long pause. “-to apologize to you.”

Viola just blinks. Once, twice, and when shes on her third blink Satan just sighs.

“Is me apologizing really that shocking?”

“Yes.” She says. “I was expecting you to say you were going to rip me apart.”

(The _Again_ lies unspoken, but shes pretty sure they both know its there. She knows that bringing _that_ into _this_ is a bit of a low blow, but she doesn’t really care.)

Satan makes a grimace at that. “Thats...one of the things I wanted to apologize for.” He says. “That was...wrong of me to say to you. You had every right to refuse me, especially since I was just trying to use you to get back at Lucifer. And even then, you helped me regardless.”

He takes a breath, and she stays silent, waiting for whatever else he was going to say. “About...Belphagor.” He says, and she can feel the air in the room get heavier, even though she and Mammon hadn’t said anything. “I’m going to be honest. I’m the Avatar of Wrath. I knew you were...upset with him and everything that had happened, and honestly, I don’t blame you.”

“You once told me,” He says “-that I didn’t have to pretend to like someone I didn’t like. And I’m sorry nobody extended that advice to you. You don’t have to pretend to like him, or even _forgive_ him after what he did to you.”

“What he did to _me_?” She says. “Or do you mean what he did to the _other_ me. The dead one.”

“Well, you felt it too, did you not?”

She just blankly looks at Satan. She thinks its funny, they came here to “talk” and all shes done is just sit and stare.

“How...” She says. “-did you know?”

“The way you acted...after.” He replies. “You were obviously nervous around him. It was like you were expecting him to hurt you again.”

“You’re right.” Viola says as she takes a deep breath. “I...did feel it. Dying, I mean. He suffocated me to death and I felt it all, and it _hurt_. If it weren’t for Lilith I would actually be dead. I have no idea how she saved me but she did, and now I’m here and I’m still _alive_ despite everything your family has tried to do to me.” She laughs. “The thing is, I _am_ expecting someone to hurt me again. Maybe one day Lucifer will run out of patience and decide the third times the charm. Or maybe Belphagor will remember how much he hates _humans_ all because his sister fell in love with one and how apparently that was worth my goddamn life.”

Satan doesn’t say anything, just looks at her and he looks a little...sad.

“For what its worth,” he says. “If...you decide to come back, we’ll protect you.”

“Are you speaking for yourself?” She says. “Or for the rest of your family? I doubt that they’d all agreed to _protect_ me, considering everyones track record with me so far.”

There’s a long silence as Satan just stares at the table. Mammon is still as silent as ever, but he’s looking at Satan with a small dash of concern.

“We do all care about you, Viola.” He says after a little while. “Despite everything thats happened.”

She’s about to say _something_ when she hears the door slam open and a _very_ familiar voice.

“Satan! There you are!” Asmo cheerily says. “I was looking _all over_ for you and Lucifer said you were here and I needed your-oh.”

Asmo notices her immediately and his face seems to fall before he says. “Viola. Hello.”

She doesn’t say anything, actually, she feels frozen to her chair. Asmo is looking at her, and she can tell that he’s upset.

“Asmo.” Mammon says as he walks towards his brother. “They’re havin’ a private conversation here. Ya gotta go.”

“Oh, _do I_?” Asmo snaps. “Are you her bouncer now or something? What’s she gonna do, run off again-“

Asmo didn’t get the chance to finish that sentence. Honestly, he didn’t even notice that she was close to him before she slapped him across the face.

The _smack_ seemed to echo throughout the tiny room, and honestly, her hand stung with how hard she hit the Avatar of Lusts face with it.

“Asmo. I _ran off_ because I was living in a house with the man who _murdered me_ , unless you forgot about that.” She snarls, glaring up at him. “So don’t treat this like I’m throwing some temper tantrum, because I’m _not_.”

There’s a moment of silence, one where she can see Mammon and Satan both gaping at her, and Asmo staring at her in complete shock. He doesn’t seem angry, doesn’t seem like he’s on the cusp of loosing control, just like he was hit by something he wasn’t expecting in a thousand years.

(Viola always liked being unpredictable.)

“I thought...” Asmo says as he gently touches his cheek. “That freeing Belphie was what you wanted to do.”

“What I _wanted ?!_ ” She snaps. “What I _wanted_ to do was what I’ve been fucking doing the entire time I’ve been here, which was mending your family and trying to make you all happy! I wanted to reunite you guys and Belphie because I thought that was what _you_ all wanted!”

“Fuck, I’m not even sure if I _wanted_ to do any of that, as soon as I came down here you people made me your mediator and I went along with it because despite _everything_ , I care about all of you! And I kept telling myself that you guys trying to hurt me or throwing me in all sorts of dangerous fucking scenarios was _my own fault_ for getting involved with demons and expecting any better from you! But you know what? I didn’t fucking _deserve_ any of that! I didn’t deserve to be nearly _killed over_ TSL trivia, I didn’t _deserve_ to have my wall knocked in, and I sure as hell didn’t deserve to be sent into a _murder labyrinth_ by your angry ex because you couldn’t _shut your fucking mouth._ ”

Viola finally stops, and it takes all of her self control not to clamp her hands over her mouth. She didn’t want to loose control _again_ , but apparently, she had more to say.

She looks back at the three shocked demons looking at her before she turns around and bolts out of the back room, trying to ignore the echo of Asmos _”What’s she gonna do, run off again?”_ in the back of her head.

_Jokes on him._ she thinks to herself before she flings the door open and stumbles out onto the street.


	5. It Gets Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know what to put here besides thanks for all of the comments and the kudos and the bookmarks, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> The chapter title is from the song of the same name by AlicebanD. Is it an accurate depiction of this chapter? Maybe.

Mammon was, of course, right behind her.

She hears him calling out for her as soon as she ran, and she does stop. If anything, she knows he’d chase her to the ends of the Devildom if he had to. Honestly, he can fly so he wouldn’t even have to run, which gives him a bit of an unfair advantage, she thinks.

He doesn’t scold her when he catches up to her, just asks her if she wants to go back to Purgatory Hall. She says yes because really, what else can she do?

Later, they’re sitting together in a lounge. Simeon made more tea for them and she was drinking it, Mammon sitting next to her. She didn’t ask him to stay with her, but he was here nonetheless, like always.

She knows she could send him away, she wouldn’t even need to use the pact for it, but she doesn’t want to be left alone right now.

“I’m sorry about Asmo.” he finally says. “I shoulda done a better job of keepin’ him out.”

“Its alright-“

“No.” Mammon cuts her off. “It’s _not_. I don’t blame ya for blowing up at him-”

“Well _you should_ ” She snaps. “He’s right. I _did_ run off again.”

“Viola-“

“Its just-I keep _doing this!_ ” she balls her hands up into fists on her lap. “I keep _blowing up_ at people and running away! I wanted your brothers to _respect me_ but I just-I just keep loosing _control_ all the time!”

She’s shaking now, but she takes a breath and keeps talking.

“It...it didn’t used to be like this, I used to be _calm_ and I used to be _rational_ but ever since he _killed me_ I’ve just been a wreck and _I hate it_. I hate it and I hate _him_ for making me like this. I wish I could just be normal again!”

Mammon, to his credit, hadn’t interjected and had just simply listened to her the entire time. But when she’s finished he gently reaches towards her and puts his hand on her shoulder, slow enough that she could tell him to stop, but she doesn’t.

The warmth of his hand is a comfort, and she can feel herself start to unwind as she breathes in and out.

“Viola” he says, his voice gentle and level. “All of my brothers respect you, and nothing can change that.”

She wrinkles her nose at that. “ _All_ of them? Are you sure you didn’t forget about two very major exceptions?”

Mammon looks to the side sheepishly. “I know what your tryin’ to say.” He says, before taking a deep breath and looking at her again. “But Lucifer and Belphie...they do respect ya deep down, even if they’d never admit it. You’ve done a lot for all of us, Viola, and anyone who doesn’t even _secretly_ respect ya for it doesn’t have their head on straight.”

“Thanks.” She says. “Its nice to know that I’m appreciated.”

“Ya always were, Viola.” Mammon says.

And despite everything, Viola can’t help but smile.

||

She knows she needs to talk to Asmo. Best to get it over with, even if he was probably mad about the fact that she slapped him _in the face_.

(Maybe he wasn’t. He seemed more shocked than anything else.)

For once, she didn’t need to make the first move. She gets a text from Satan telling her that Asmo “wanted to talk”.

_I believe he wants to apologize to you_ he’d texted her _even if he won’t tell me that._

_Sure_. She replied. _I’ll talk to him._

Of course, things weren’t that simple. First of all, she had to go back to the House of Lamentation, because the room Satan had used last time was booked and nobody could find another quiet secure place. They would meet in Asmo’s room, and despite her apprehension at going back to the house, she agreed after Satan and Mammon had assured her that nobody else would know that she was there.

She knows somethings off after she and Mammon had walked up to Asmo’s room and had seen Satan standing outside of the door looking...awkward, for lack of a better term.

“There’s...been some changes to the plan.” Satan said. “Word...got out. I _tried_ to insist that this was a private meeting but I was...outvoted.”

“And ya _let em_!?” Mammon snaps. “Ya just..let em completely stomp all over her wishes like that?! What kind of _demon_ are ya?!”

Satan actually looks at Mammon with slight surprise, no doubt he wasn’t expecting _that_ kind of response, but he just narrows his eyes. “They all set their minds to this, Mammon. You _know_ how hard it is to get any of us to change our minds once we set them to something. Plus, we’re outnumbered, but if you want to try and go in there and get them all to leave, be my guest.”

He looks at Viola, and his gaze softens. “If you want to leave now, nobody would blame you. We can try and work something else out.”

Viola takes a second, and takes a deep breath.

“Who’s in there?” She asks. “Is it...all of them?”

“Just Asmo, Beel, and Levi.” Satan answers. “Lucifer and Belphie have been...hard to get a hold of. They don’t even know you’re here.”

She sighs in relief. “I can handle those three. I’ll do it.”

Mammon looks over at her. “If ya want me to break em up and send em back, I will. Just say the word.”

She knows that it isn’t a shallow brag, that Mammon is the second most powerful out of them all and he _could_ send them all packing if he wanted too, even if his brothers don’t take him seriously. But she thinks that maybe this is a blessing in disguise, an opportunity to set the record straight with the other three people in the house who weren’t an active threat to her safety.

“Thank you, Mammon.” She says. “For everything. But I need to do this.”

He just nods in response, and she opens the door.

||

“We’ve all...been talking.”

Asmo’s sitting on his bed, and Beel is next to him. Levi is sitting on the floor. Neither of them are looking at her, and she isn’t looking at them either. It all feels so...awkward. Shes sitting on the chair of Asmos vanity, and Satan and Mammon are standing near the door.

“First of all, I want to apologize.” Asmo said. “I’ve been acting...out of line. I let my emotions get the better of me and I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You were right, we’ve put you in a lot of...dangerous situations and you didn’t deserve any of it. I could’ve, no _should’ve_ handled Sarah better, and I’ll admit that.”

She sees Levi shift a little from his spot on the floor, and Beel seems to somehow look even _guiltier_. Her heart twists. She knew that Beel would be the hardest to see, she never wanted to come between him and his brother, and that was the main reason she’d kept her true feelings under lock and key for so long.

She never wanted to hurt Beel, and that feeling often feuded with her anger, but in the end, her resentment had won out, for better or for worse.

“Look, darling, this has been...hard. On all of us. The strain in the house isn’t easy to deal with, Lucifer and Belphie have barley left their rooms and everyone’s all _sad_ and _sulky_ because of what you said.” Asmo looks at her. “We understand that you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but how this has all been _handled_ is-“

“How this has been _handled_?” She says, cutting Asmo off. She doesn’t stand up this time, doesn’t yell, doesn’t “cause a scene”. “I don’t know if you’ve all _noticed_ , but all I’ve done since I got here was help you all. I helped Levi get his money back by making a pact with Mammon. I helped you all out of that labyrinth when that giant snake was after us. I _helped_ when Lucifer and Satan got...swapped and we ended up in that video game and then stumbled into a _murder scene_. I...I helped to try and free Belphagor, once from the attic and then from Diavolos dungeons, and look where _that_ got me.”

She doesn’t look up from her lap, and she doesn’t have to. Everyone is silent.

“Yes, maybe I am being selfish. Maybe I didn’t think about what my outburst might do to you all. But you...you all lash out _all the time_ , you’re all embodiments of _sins_ , I thought you’d understand me not being your picture perfect impassive mediator for _once_. I thought you’d let me be angry.” She tries to laugh, but it comes out as more of a choked sob. “But I guess I was wrong.”

Asmo, to his credit, seemed to realize just what he implied. “Darling, I’m sorry. None of us would ever say that you’ve never helped us. You have, and we’re all better demons for it, but honestly, we’re all lost without you. And I just...I can’t _stand_ the idea that we ruined it all.”

She looks up at Asmo and he looks sincere, his normally carefree expression is replaced with a serious one, and he looks like he’s on the verge of tears himself.

“Thank you for saying that.” She says. “I...do care about all of you. And I know that you all care about me, I’m angry, and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I stop being angry, but-“ She stops, takes a breath, and she hopes to god that her voice doesn’t break. “-I still care about all of you, and that won’t change, but I’m a _person_. I have my own feelings and hopes and desires and I’m glad I helped you all but it’s not my only _purpose_. I’m not a demon. I’m not an angel and I’m not made of stone or exist only to mediate and fix your family. I’m just a history major who’s trying to deal with a _bunch_ of stressful shit, and by _god_ you’ve all been adding onto it, and I don’t want to sit around and pretend like everything’s fine anymore. Thats all I’ve been doing since Belphagor killed me and _I can’t do it anymore_.”

Shes crying again, she knows it. She’s internally cursing herself for it as she wipes her eyes as all of the demons in the room stare at her. She can see Mammon start to move over to her, but Beel stands up before he can even take a step.

“Viola.”

Beel’s looking down at her, and maybe in a different time his towering form would give her pause, but just steps forward and kneels down to her eye level.

Mammon’s looking at her, and she knows that he’d come to her aid in a second and drag his (much larger) brother away if she gave him a sign. She just nods at him, and he nods back, stepping back to his place near the door.

“I’m sorry.” He says, looking her straight in the eye. “I’m so sorry for everything.”

“The Belphie I know and the Belphie that hurt you just...they seem like two different people.” He says “-and after everything was explained he seemed to go back to being _Belphie_ and I thought it meant things were normal now. I guess we all felt that way but it wasn’t true, was it?”

She nods.

“I never....” She says, trying her best not to start crying again. “I never wanted to come between you and him, I _know_ how close you were and how much you missed him and-“

“But Viola, he still killed you. Everything you said back then was _right_. You formed the pacts and risked Lucifers wrath for him and he...he was tricking you and all he wanted to do was hurt you. I...still can’t believe he did all of that, and no matter what I can’t wrap my head around the fact that my brother was so blinded by his hatred that he wanted to _kill all humans_ ”

She’s staring at Beel, and admittedly, she wasn’t really trying to hide how shocked she was. She knew that Beel was smarter than he looked, that he had more going on behind his never-ending hunger, she knew that the second he confided in her about Lilith. But she wasn’t expecting him to have her all figured out.

She thought that if it came down to it all, he’d choose his brother over her. Why wouldn’t he? They had centuries of time together and he’d only known her for a few months. But she looks into Beels eyes and she can see nothing but sincerity there.

“I just...” He says. “I just don’t know what to _do._ What he did to you is unforgivable but he’s my twin, but he’s changed so much and I don’t know what to do about him.”

“Beel.” She says. “I’m going to tell you the truth. I don’t know what to do about him either. Diavolo offered to lock him up again but I _don’t_ want to do that because that would undo _everything_ and I don’t want to take him away from you all again. And I don’t want the rest of you locked up or anything for everything else thats happened.”

She takes a deep breath, and this time she looks past Beel at all of the brothers in the room.

“But I don’t want to forgive everything thats happened. I don’t want to have to walk these halls and act like everything’s fine and that I’ve never been endangered here. I just want to be _safe_ and know that my wellbeing and my feelings are taken seriously, and right now I _never_ want to see Belphagor again, even if I know its not the perfect solution.”

Beel flinches a little, but he doesn’t try to argue her point. “I don’t know how much we can fix,” he says, softly. “But we can start to try.”

She reaches over and pulls him into a hug, and he gently hugs her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ftr i didn’t forget that Levi was there, He will have His Turn.
> 
> Honestly I write Violas rants/monologues first and then base the rest of the story around them, and I’m pretty sure this chapter makes that pretty obvious. I guess I just like writing people ranting.


	6. Fire With Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little disclaimer: I dont hate Lucifer but you have to admit that the dude pulls a lot of shit 
> 
> Chapter title is from the song of the same name by alicebanD

“So uh.” Levi says, standing up from his place on the floor. “Can I have my turn to apologize and junk? Or can we skip over me because Beel’s _definitely_ outranked anything I had planned-“

“Ya still got somethin’ to apologize for, Levi.” Mammon says, fixing his brother with a glare. “Ya can’t weasel outta that.”

“Ugh, can you drop that whole ‘protective streak’ thing and just tell her-“

Viola clears her throat. “Boys. I’m still here, in case you forgot.”

To their credit, they both had the decency to look ashamed.

“I’m uh. Sorry.” Levi says, looking at the ground. “I’m sorry I lost it over trivia and tried to uh. Take you out. And I’m sorry I just kinda assumed you were okay with everything. Its like...I really should’ve known better, I guess. Usually the character who seems all calm and collected has their limits. Chapter 49 of the second book of TSL has Henry get _super_ mad at the lords because they all...pushed him too far in their own ways.”

“I...” Viola says, “...forgot about that chapter.”

“They left it out of the anime.” Levi responds. “They had to cut some things out. Time constraints.”

“They should have kept it.” She says. “I think...it would’ve helped a lot of people. To see that Henry’s allowed to be angry.”

“Yeah.” Levi says. “I agree.”

She smiles, and she can see his face flush before he straightens himself up.

“So, uh.” He says. “What now?”

Everyone takes a moment to look at each other before they look back at her.

“Well.” She says, looking at all of them. “I guess I’ll go talk to Lucifer. I mean, I’m here anyway, might as well. Plus I wouldn’t put it past him to know that I’m here anyway.”

“Are...ya sure ya wanna do this now?” Mammon asks as the rest of his brothers stare at her. “I mean, you could take a day off or somethin’-“

“I appreciate the thought, Mammon.” She says. “But I’m getting tired of running.”

||

Viola decides that she’s abandoned all pretenses of being calm.

She’d wanted to be, at the start of this all. She’d wanted to explain to everyone _why_ she was so upset and she had. She’d done everything she could do. She wanted to stay calm when she did it, but she was just so _tired_ of the threats and the stress and all of the attempts on her life and being _killed_ had just sent her over the edge. She thinks that someone else would’ve lost it long ago, and maybe thats why fate had let her file fall at Lucifers feet that one night. The universe knew she was a tough nut to crack.

But she’s standing outside of _Lucifers office_ right now, and despite her tumultuous emotional state, she knows that she can’t afford to loose it in front of him. It was a point of pride for her to keep him from seeing her break. All of the others had seen her cry and had seen her crack, but not Lucifer, not since she first left.

She takes a deep breath, lifts her hand up, and knocks on his door.

||

“You seem upset.” Lucifer says, “About how everything has panned out since...then.”

It takes all of Violas inner strength to not roll her eyes and say _oh, really?_.

Lucifer had let her in to his office easily enough, all she said when he’d opened his door was _”we need to talk”_ and he’d just nodded his agreement. And now here she was, standing in front of his desk and waiting to hear what he had to say for himself.

“I understand that he...killed you, and that is an unforgivable sin.” Lucifer continues. “But based on what else you said that night, you seem to have a problem with _me_ , do you not?”

“Yes.” She says. “You’ve threatened me and hurt me _several_ times, Lucifer. Belphagor was the one who killed me, but you are the one who’s tried the hardest to end my life, even if it wasn’t your intent.”

He just looks at her, and Viola can’t read his face. Despite his...outbursts, Lucifer has always been hard for her to figure out. At first, she thought he’d seemed nice and polite, gentlemanly, almost.

All of her goodwill towards him had fizzled the moment he’d subtlety threatened her life that first night on the stairs, and her opinion on him had fallen lower and lower with each new threat and outburst. Learning about Lilith had made her understand him more, but she still held him in contempt, but she was smart enough not to express it.

Until now, that is. But in her defense, he started it.

“The thing is.” She tilts her head to the side, putting one hand on her hip. “I don’t blame you for not telling us everything about Belphie.”

Lucifer actually looks surprised at that, but she keeps going.

“You’re _Pride_ , after all. Plus you couldn’t trust your brothers to keep it a secret, especially around Lord Diavolo. _But_ -“ She says, holding up a finger. She knows that she’s playing a dangerous game, holding up a finger to _Lucifer_ and expecting him to hold his tongue, but they’d all said she had no sense of self preservation.

They should all be used to this by now

“-I still knew _nothing_ about Belphagor and what he wanted to do. I didn’t know that you had him locked up for a reason, and nothing to counter his claims that you’d unjustly imprisoned him. And as soon as I told you about him you _tried to kill me_. Even when Beel took us both and _left_ you didn’t bother to tell us the truth.”

She’s doing her best not to yell (not this time) but her teeth are gritted, and she’s practically spitting out everything she’s saying.

“I don’t blame you for keeping it a secret, but it was a _mistake_ , Lucifer. And in the end, I had to pay for it. And I hope to your _Father_ that it was worth it.”

The air seems to crackle, but Lucifer is still contained, his wings still concealed and his demon form still leashed. She has no idea if its from restraint on his end or the knowledge that if he lost control again he’d prove everything she’d said about him right.

_”Don’t.”_ he says, his voice nearly cracking under his own restraint. “Don’t bring _him_ into this.”

She knows that he’s right, that bringing up his Father was an especially low blow, but she was still _right_ , and she refuses to give him anything. Not this time.

“You.” She says, standing up and looking down at his seated form. “Have _no right_ to tell me what I can or can’t say. What are you going to do? Actually kill me this time? Hell, you could just get Barbatos to use those doors of his and rewrite it all so you won’t even get a slap on the wrist from Diavolo this time.”

_”Viola”_

“You held your own brother and an angel that’s practically a _child_ hostage and tried to make me choose between them, Lucifer! Did you think I _forgot_ about that?! Do you think that’s something I _could_ forget about?! And when I said that _no_ , I wouldn’t choose, you almost killed me! What would you have let me do, let me let you kill _your own brother_? We both know that if you killed him or Luke it would have ruined _everything!_ Do you think the rest of your family would’ve even wanted to _look at you_ after you _killed Beel_? I’m surprised that any of them even wanted to stay in the same house as you after that!”

There’s a crack of lightning as Lucifers demon form finally emerges, a few feathers floating in the air, and all Viola can think is _fucking finally_.

“ _I don’t understand you._ ” He snaps, and Viola feels another crackle of lightning. “You kept interfering and-“

“I kept _interfering_ because I wanted to help!” She screams back at him, and she actually takes a step back. Sure, this isn’t the first time she’s blown up at him, but this is the first time she’d ever _screamed_.

“I wanted to help.” She says, her voice quieter now. “I wanted to _help_ and you...” Her voice is wobbly now, and she can feel tears start to form in her eyes as she internally cursed herself. “You never gave me any time to _recover_. You just assumed I was _fine_ every time you or one of your brothers tried to hurt me, and you did the same when he-when he fucking killed me! After everything with Lilith you just acted a _little_ awkward around him like you _didn’t_ lock him in the attic because he wanted to kill all humans! He _killed me_ , Lucifer! Or did you _forget_ seeing my corpse, because I haven’t!

She told herself she wouldn’t cry this time, not in front of _Lucifer_. She didn’t want him to see any signs of weakness, especially when she’d hidden them all of those times she’d faced him down. She’d felt _ashamed_ that he saw her cry and yell at Belphagor, because now he knew that she wasn’t infallible. He knew she had a weakness now, and here she was, showing it in front of him all over again.

She looks at him and she _knows_ that he sees her as she is right now, not as “the human” or an ever aggravating thorn in his side who kept “interfering” with his family, but as someone who was just broken down, exhausted, and _done_.

And that makes her even _angrier_.

_How dare he._ The voice in her head _snarls_ _How dare he break me down and act surprised about what he’s fucking done._

“Do you _like this?!_ ” She finds her voice again, screaming as her voice cracks and she feels the warm tears flow down her face. “Do you _like_ making the helpless little human girl cry?! Do you find _pride_ in it?! Does it help you _sleep at night?_ ” She furiously scrubs at her face, trying to wipe all of the tears and snot away. “Is this what you wanted? _Are you happy now?_ ”

She doesn’t bother waiting for an answer, instead she just closes her eyes and waits for the inevitable.

...

...

...

She opens her eyes and Lucifer is just standing there, demon form gone and the only evidence that it was ever there at all were a few feathers on the floor.

“I don’t.” He says, looking straight at her. “I don’t find any _pride_ in making you suffer.”

“I never wanted you dead.” He continues . “I...lost control, multiple times, as you said, and that was...improper of me. I endangered you and the exchange program, and I do apologize for that.”

“Is that,” She says, voice raw and her hands balled into fists at her sides. “All you have to say for yourself? After _everything?_ You didn’t just try to kill me, you _threatened_ me. Several times. Do you remember the tea that would make me ‘never wake up?’ Or when you crushed my hand at the dance at Diavolo’s retreat? Because I sure as hell do. You may be the most powerful lord of hell, but that doesn’t mean I have to sit around and act like everything you’ve said and done to me is _justified_.”

“What would you have me do?” He says. “Prostrate myself before you? Apologize until I cannot speak anymore? Let you bind me to your will?”

“Honestly, those would all be fun to watch, and film.” (Lucifer grimaces at that, but quickly covers it up). “But it wouldn’t make me feel better. Right now, I just want to know that I’m safe living in this house.”

“But even if you told me I _was_ , I’m not sure I’d be able to believe you.”

“Will you...” He says, looking at her. “Ever forgive me?”

“No.” She says. “Not yet. Maybe after some time has passed...but not now.”

To his credit, he seems to accept that with a nod. “What about...Belphagor.”

“I...don’t want to forgive him. And I don’t want to see him again. But I know that we all live in the same house and it’d be awkward to just...keep avoiding him.” She says. “Before I came to talk to you I...told everyone else that I was tired of running away from everything. I’m not ready to face Belphagor, I don’t know if I’ll _ever_ be, but I can’t keep avoiding him forever. So I’ll face him. I don’t know what will happen, but at the very least I’ll prove to him that he can’t break me. Not again.”

Lucifer nods, and for a second, she thinks she sees a glimmer of pride in his gaze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...we’re getting near the end, and we’ve got one more brother left 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	7. It’s One More And I’m Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh this is back! This chapter took a lot of time for...reasons. Also we’re at over 200 kudos and all i can say is wow? I wasn’t expecting people to like this fic that much? Thank you, really. I also read all of the comments and I’m glad that so many people find this fic cathartic, writing this has given me some personal catharsis and I’m glad people can relate.

Viola wasn’t sure what she was expecting when she opened the door. Maybe it would be everyone just waiting for her like they were all in some waiting room. Maybe they’d all be relived to see her, or maybe they’d all be anxious, like they were all in some hospital drama waiting on some good or bad news.

In retrospect, maybe it was too much to ask for all of them to be sitting around calmly. But she wasn’t expecting to walk out to Beel holding Mammon back while the rest of the brothers were surrounding him, trying to calm him down.

“Mammon, we really shouldn’t-“

“Why the _hell not_!” Mammon snaps, and Viola is nearly taken aback by how _angry_ he seems. “He hurt her! _You_ all hurt her! And now ya just wanna flop over all because of _Lucifer_? Ya wanna fail her again?! Does she have to _die_ (She hears his voice choke, if only for a second) _again_ to make ya all realize that we can’t all just do whatever the _hell_ we want and ignore her and all the shit she’s been through? The shit we _put her through_? Do ya want to just sit around and _hope_ he doesn’t kill her this time?!”

“But Mammon, we don’t even know if he’s-“

“Ya _heard_ the cracking, didn’t ya?! Ya felt the aura too. Ya all call _me_ stupid but I sure as hell know the signs of Lucifer loosin’ it more than ever!”

She’s not sure who looked at her first as soon as she opened the door. It might’ve been Beel, given that he immediately lets Mammon go as soon as he sees her. They all look at her with varying levels of relief, and Mammon walks over to her as soon as he realizes that she’s standing right in front of them.

“You...” Mammon says, looking her over. “You’re alright?”

“Yes.” She says. “I’m safe.”

He looks at her, and he looks so _relived_ that it takes all of Violas energy to keep from bursting into tears. She doesn’t really know what she’s doing, but she runs forward and wraps her arms around Mammon before she can stop herself.

She’s gripping him as tight as she can, and at first he stiffens, but then he relaxes and she can feel his arms start to wrap around her as well.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long.

“What.” Lucifer says, looking at the chaotic scene before him. “Is going _on_ here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” A voice says. “he was getting ready to save her from _you_.”

Viola isn’t sure who she was expecting to see when she separates from Mammon and turns her head in the direction of the voice, but it certainly wasn’t _Simeon_. Her eyebrows raise as she sees him walk onto the scene, brows furrowed and his placid gaze replaced with something colder as he stares Lucifer down.

“Simeon,” Lucifer says, “This does not involve you-“

“It _involved me_ the second Viola showed up on Purgatory Halls doorstep because of how _unsafe_ you all made her feel.” Simeon snaps back. “You were an angel once, remember? Don’t tell me you _forgot_ that our job is to keep others safe. You do your job and bury yourself under your mountains of paperwork, and I do mine where I keep her safe, which is something you’ve _utterly failed_ at.”

There’s a palpable tension in the air, and she steps forward to say something, what, she doesn’t know. But she feels a hand on her shoulder before she could even do anything.

“Viola”

The unexpected touch sends a jolt through her. She has to suppress the fear, the flood of worry about it all _happening again_ , that someone else is here to hurt her. She turns around, part of her wondering _”Gee, who is it this time?”_ before she comes face to face with Barbatos.

She was surprised. She hadn’t seen Barbatos since she’d been at Diavolos office, it was almost as if the man had made himself scarce after he’d made the new “true” timeline. But here he was, standing in front of her with a serene smile.

“A word, If you will.”

The tension seems to instantly evaporate, Simeon and Lucifer go from glaring at each other to looking over at her and Barbatos with confusion. In fact, everyone looked really confused, and even Diavolo is looking at Barbatos with a puzzled expression. Viola can’t help but find some humor in a man who knows everything about the future surprising them all so throughly. Maybe he planned it.

“Whaddya want with Viola?” Mammon says, finally cutting through the silence.

“What my brother _means_ to say-“ Lucifer says as he clears his throat and looks at Mammon. “Is to ask why you need to talk to her _now_ , of all times.”

“I understood Mammon perfectly well, Lucifer.” Barbatos says. “As for the matters I need to discuss with Viola, It does not concern you. But I will say that it concerns the future.”

“Barbatos,” Diavolo says as he looks at his butler. “Thats a very vague statement. Viola, you don’t have to talk to him if you don’t-“

“I’ll talk to him.” She says. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

Diavolo just nods, even if the rest of the brothers are looking at her with concern.

“Well then,” Barbatos says. “After you.”

She walks ahead of him, and they both walk away.

||

Barbatos’s room was as confusing too look at as ever. She’d only been there once before, and even then, she didn’t stay long.

(She tries her best not to think about what happened after she’d left this room the last time she was here.)

A simple table is set at the center of the room, a teapot and cups set on the tabletop. So many people have served her tea here, she thinks. Maybe its popular with demons, or demons that try to appear classy, at the very least. Not that Barbatos needs to appear classy, his every being seems to revolve around being as put together as possible. The perfect servant, if you will.

He gestures at her to sit down first, and she does. At first its silent, him just simply sipping his tea. Viola feels like she should taste some of hers, if only to be polite, but who knew if this was another “special blend”. She had a hard time believing that Lucifer would be the only demon fond of such things.

“It’s safe.” Barbatos says, no doubt guessing the reason for her hesitation. “I’m not Lucifer. I don’t poison my guests.”

Viola just nods, and takes a sip. It’s good, just a simple blend of black tea, just like something she always used to get at the coffee shop near her university back when she lived in the human world.

“So.” She says, putting the cup down. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

For a second, Barbatos is quiet, like he’s mulling over what to say, and Viola tries her best to disregard the dread building in her stomach.

Finally, he speaks.

“Viola.” He says. “Don’t you think its time for this to end?”

She looks at him in confusion. “What do you mean? What needs to end?”

“This timeline.” He says, his face devoid of any sarcasm or levity. “You’ve gotten it all out of your system, haven’t you? So it’s time to go back.”

“I don’t understand.” She says. “Back to _what_?”

“To how things are _supposed_ to be.” Barbatos says.

“This...this is how things are supposed to be.” She says, trying to keep her voice level. “He killed me but I-I came back and then you said this was the true timeline. You told me that.”

Barbatos puts down his teacup. “It is, but it isn’t, Viola.”

“You...” She says, looking at him. “You’re making no _sense_. Barbatos, almost ever demon I know down here has jerked me around in some capacity so _please_ , just tell me the truth. I can’t deal with anything less right now.”

He takes a second to just _look_ at her, and she feels like his eyes are baring into her soul. (Maybe they really are, he’s a demon, after all.)

“You are not supposed to do any of what you’ve been doing.” Barbatos simply states. “You were supposed to forgive Belphagor. Sure, you could voice your dissent, but that was all. You would then go on to mend his relationships between him and his brothers. But you have done none of these things. You have fought against every attempt you have been given to move on, to forgive, to help. So, you need to go back, and do what you were supposed too.”

“No.”

Barbatos, to his credit, doesn’t look surprised. It makes sense, really. He probably saw this coming.

“I’m not going _back_!” She snaps. “I’m not going to do this all over and be the docile little _lamb_ everyone expected me to be! I came this fucking far and I’m _not going back_.”

She looks at Barbatos, who still seems as stoic as ever. “Have you ever died?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“Have you ever had your windpipe _crushed_?” She says, holding her hand up , slowly curling it into a fist as tight as she could. “It _hurts_ , Barbatos. And humans can’t heal from that, usually we need immediate medical attention or we _die_. And even if we can be saved, we need to recover for _weeks_ , hurting all the while.”

“The thing is, Barbatos, that I was bleeding. It happened so fast that I didn’t even realize that he wounded me until I saw my _body_ and all of the blood. The thing is there was _so much_ that I don’t even know where he wounded me, maybe it wasn’t even in one place. Maybe he used his claws, maybe he used his tail, maybe it was all his aura. But there was blood _everywhere_ until my body disappeared and I took over for myself. But you want me to go back. You want me to go back and forgive the man who did all of that to me and fix his relationship with his family.”

Barbatos is just looking at her, teacup placed down on the saucer. His gaze is deep and unknowing, and she feels a little scared, but she’s made up her mind. If he wants her to go back and do what she was _supposed_ to do, he’d have to drag her kicking and screaming.

“The truth is that I don’t.” Barbatos says. “I don’t want you to do that. In fact, I’ve been waiting for someone to put them in their place for a _long_ time.” He smiles, thinly, but Viola doesn’t feel at ease.

“Then _why_?” She says. “If you don’t want this, and I don’t want this, then why do I have to go back? Why does this all have to change?”

“Because thats just how things are, Viola. We all just have to follow along with how things are supposed to be.”

“But you can _change it_!” She snaps. “You can change time! You’ve done it once so whats the problem with me going against whatever this timeline is _supposed_ to be like?! Why can’t you do it _again_?! And give me a real answer this time, not anymore of that _bullshit_ about how this isn’t how things are or aren’t supposed to be!”

There’s a long silence, but Barbatos finally speaks.

“I can change time, Viola.” He says. “But when I did, it was _meant_ to happen, a narrative to follow, if you will. And I followed it. I followed it when my Lord wanted you sent back in time in the first place. I followed it when you reveled yourself so as to not cause a paradox. And I am following it now, as we all should.”

“So, let me get this straight.” Viola says. “We’re following a narrative, and I’m not doing it right. So I have to go back and do whatever this _narrative_ says I should do, which is everything you told me. Forgive Belphagor, and fix his relationship with his family after he was locked in the attic for wanting to kill humans by Lucifer, despite everything he’s done.”

“Yes.”

“And when did I diverge from this narrative?”

“As soon as you left the house.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me then?”

Barbatos just blinks at her, and she thinks that for once, he looks...confused.

So she decides to keep pressing.

“Why didn’t you stop me _before_? You’re a master of time, remember? There was no way you could’ve known what I was going to do, even before I did it. But you didn’t stop me. You didn’t stop me from confronting Belphagor, you didn’t stop me from leaving, you didn’t stop me from talking to Mammon or Satan, you didn’t stop me from slapping Asmo and talking to everyone else or confronting Lucifer or even from Lord Diavolo taking my side at the start of this all. You could’ve stopped all of that, so why didn’t you?”

“I think, Barbatos.” She says, leaning over the table and looking him in the eye. “That you wanted this to happen. You said it yourself, you wanted someone to put them in their place for a long, _long_ time. And thats why you didn’t stop me. You wanted to see me stand up to them. You wanted to see them deal with the consequences of their actions.”

Barbatos starts laughing, a chuckle that grows louder and louder, bouncing off of the walls of his room of many doors. He isn’t cackling, nor is he reveling in anything, but it puts Viola off nonetheless.

“Oh, _Viola_.” Barbatos says with a smile. “My Lord really made the right decision choosing you, the best he’s ever made in all of his years.”

“So.” She says. “I’m right.”

“That you are.” Barbatos says with a shake of his head. “That you are.”

His smile fades, and he looks back at her. “You are right, I wanted this to happen, and I wanted to see how this would all pan out. I still want to see it, in all honesty. But I have never pushed this far against time, Viola. Not since I changed it all the first time around.”

“Are you scared?”

Barbatos just blinks at her. “Am I _what?_ ”

“Scared.” She repeats. “You’ve never pushed this far against the ‘narrative’, so you have no idea what will happen if you keep indulging this new one. It’s all unknown to you.”

Barbatos is silent, and Viola thinks she hit the nail on the head.

“Time is never unknown to me.” He says. “And this new timeline, this new _narrative_ , has several futures that I have seen.” He closes his eyes for a second, and then looks at her. “My commitment is to my realm and my Lord, Viola. I can’t entertain my own desires if they put them at risk.”

“How do you know that they will?” She says. “I’m going to confront Belphagor, the man who nearly put _everything_ that Lord Diavolo worked for to waste, to the point you both locked him up. How would me confronting him be a _risk_? Don’t you want to see him get put in his place to? Doesn’t he deserve it the most?”

“Viola, if he kills you _again_ , it will put all of my Lords work to waste.” Barbatos says. “And I don’t know if you could come back from it this time.”

 _“He killed me already!”_ She snaps. “You were there. You _knew_ it would happen and you didn’t stop me then, and yes, I know that I came back but to me, it doesn’t make much difference. I’ll take the risk of dying and not coming back this time, because then I’ll finally get to know some sort of _peace_. And don’t-don’t tell me about this ruining the exchange program or whatever, Diavolo put me at risk the moment he assigned me to the House of Lamentation. I know I’m here to promote peace and unity, but I haven’t been shown any peace or unity from _anyone_ ever since I _got here_. How do you think the human realm would take knowing that their human exchange student almost died several times and actually _did_ die? ” She levels a glare at him from across the table. “And if I _do_ die again, you can just go back and grab another version of me, right? Two dead Violas shouldn’t make that much of a difference.”

There’s a long silence, and Barbatos does nothing besides picking up his teacup and taking a sip. Viola hasn’t touched hers ever since she sat down, and shes sure it’s long cold, but that didn’t seem to stop Barbatos from drinking his.

“You are right,” He says. “I could do that, but I don’t want to. I like the version of you in front of me, and I’d be loath to replace her.”

“So-so what _is_ this!” She says, throwing her hands up. “You want to conform to the ‘narrative’, but you’re also concerned for my safety?! You want to see the brothers get their due and be ‘put in their place’ by me, but you worry about it ruining Lord Diavolos plans for peace and unity? I don’t _get it_ Barbatos, _what do you want?!_ ”

For the first time since she came into his room, she sees Barbatos’s grip on his teacup tighten.

“I,” Barbatos says, “Am Lord Diavolos butler, what I _want_ has never been important.”

“This isn’t about it being _important_ ” She snaps back. “I just want you to answer my question.”

“What I want.” He says. “Is for you to live, the current you, so that My Lords plans won’t be in vain, as well as my own fondness for you. I also want to see the Lords be put in their place, as I feel they have been unchallenged in this realm for far too long, as My Lord doesn’t see it fit to interfere in their affairs, and I am grateful that someone was finally able to do it.”

He takes a second, and closes his eyes. When he opens them again he’s looking at her and she’s taken aback by how _earnest_ he seemed.

“You called me a Master of Time, but that is half true,” he says. “I can control the timelines, I can see all of the future and the past, but I am also a slave to time, a slave to how things are ‘supposed to be’, as you put it. And I follow it, despite my own reservations. Thats what I’ve always done, thats why I sent you back the first time when my Lord ordered it despite knowing that it would kill you. And thats why I’m here now, trying to convince you to go back and change this all.”

“Why try and convince me at all?” She asks, “Why not just drag me away?”

“Because I am fond of you.” He states, once again. “And because, admittedly, my conviction has begun to fade.”

“What?”

“It’s been fading this entire time, Viola.” He says with a shake of his head. “Now I see why Lucifer and his brothers are so drawn to you. You have a way of changing minds.”

“So...” Viola says, the tension in her starting to ease. “You’ve changed your mind? About me ‘going back?’”

“Not completely.” Barbatos says. “But you have no need to wait around for me to decide.”

Viola just nods at him before she stands up and leaves the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> S/o to Evan again for reading this and making sure the Barb part...made sense basically. 
> 
> Chapter title is from December by Lydia.


	8. Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning for this chapter for depictions of a panic attack and a mental breakdown 
> 
> chapter title is from the song of the same name by Hayden Calnin
> 
> also 8 chapters in and im finally gonna link to my other social media, heres my [art tumblr](https://doublepigeons.tumblr.com/)  
> and my [twitter](https://twitter.com/pigeonmotel). I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

She leaves Barbatos’s room feeling slightly triumphant.

She isn’t really sure what happened there, but she knows that she _won_. (Was it really winning if you’re opponent wanted you to win? She’d like to think so.) Barbatos wasn’t going to send her back, and she was free to do what she wanted in this timeline (for now at least).

Its then that she sees _him_.

Belphagor is walking down the hallway ahead of her, she can tell its him from the stroke of white-tipped blue hair covering his profile. She remembers it always covering his right eye and how much it _annoyed_ her, how much she wanted to reach between the bars of his attic prison and push it to the side so they could see each other eye-to-eye.

(In retrospect, she realized that he always avoided eye contact with her.)

He’s in his RAD uniform, slightly unbuttoned and sleep-trustled. If she had to hypothosize he’d probably taken a nap somewhere and was now on his way to class or something. He doesn’t seem to notice her, thankfully, so if she just walked away he wouldn’t even notice her at all-

But she can’t move.

She’s rooted to the spot, just _staring_ at the blue-haired _liar_. He was just minding his own buisness, walking to wherever without a _care_ in the world, like nothing had ever happened.

And all Viola can feel is anger, but before she can even think of anything else, Belphagor stops, turns his head, and just _looks_ at her.

Viola was hoping that her anger would stay, that she’d be able to give him _another_ peice of her mind, but as soon as those violet eyes met hers and he takes a step towards her, the hot fury in her is replaced with a cold rush of _panic_. He’s coming towards her, he’s coming _for_ her while she’s all _alone_ and she can feel herself start to shake when she realizes that it’s all _happening again_.

Its a slight tremor, starting in her hands and moving down her arms to her legs. At first she tries to just ignore it, to push it away, but the shaking gets _worse_ and she has to stop and plant her hand against the wall.

_Breathe in, Breathe out._

She _tries_ that but she _can’t_ , she _can’t_ breathe and she’s being soffacated _again_ and Belphagor is _looking_ at her and he actually looks _concerned_ but its all an _act_ , she knows it is. He’s just acting concerned so he can come close to her and kill her _again_.

“...no.”

The word forces itself out of her as he stops in his tracks, and he actually looks _terrified_. She feels a rumble in her cheast and she realizes that she’s _laughing_. He’s here. He’s here to kill her just like Barbatos said he would.

 _”I’m going to confront Belphagor.”_ Her own voice echos back at her. _”I’ll take the risk of dying and not coming back this time, if only so I can know some peace”_

She thought she’d be able to do this on her own terms. That she’d have the brothers with her as backup and supervision so she could confront him and let him know all of the damage he caused to her. But she’s alone in a hallway and he’s _staring_ at her and she’s shaking like a leaf and she can’t _fucking_ breathe.

She wants to scream, to bring the whole fucking castle down on Belphagor, but she can barley get a sound out. But she puts all of her effort into forcing one word out.

“....help....”

And Belphagor-

Belphagor runs away.

She feels herself collapse, her limbs trembling to hard to keep her upright anymore. She curls in on herself and all she can hear is the pounding sound of her heart in her own ears. She feels so _pathetic_ , making all of these big proclomations about her plans and folding like a lawn chair as soon as Belphagor so much as _looked_ at her. She’s a _faliure_. She faced down an angry Lucifer and an impassive Barbatos and all of the demon brothers and here she was, shaking on the floor all because she made _eye contact_ with her killer.

“-oila?”

Was someone talking to her? She could barely hear anything over the pounding in her ears.

“Viola? Are you alright?”

The voice is there again, and it sounds...soothing, almost. She doesn’t know _why_ , but she answers.

“....no.” She says to _whoever_ it is. “I’m going to die. Again.”

 _“No.”_ The voice says, firm, but not cruel. “You are going to live, Viola. What kind of ambassador to humanity would I be if I let my fellow exchange student die?”

Something about the _firmness_ of the voice snaps her back to reality. And she uncurls herself from her spot on the floor and sees Solomon, down on one knee and looking at her with concern.

“Breathe with me.” he says, gently.

“I...can’t.” She says through her clenched jaw. The logical part of her knows that she’s still breathing, that if she wasn’t she would have passed out by now, but her throat still feels like a _vice_ is around it.

“It’s alright.” He says. “I’ll stay with you until you can.”

Slowly, she can feel her throat unclench, and she breathes in, Solomon following after her. He gently tells her to hold it, and she does. He tells her to breathe out, and she does.

Soon enough, her breathing starts to even out, and she starts to tremble less. Her legs still feel like jelly, and she’s _tired_. She feels a wave of exhaustion crash over her, but she still tries her damndest to stay lucid.

“How?” She asks, looking up at Solomon. “How did you find me?”

He points at the ring on her finger with a smile. “You summoned me, remember?”

She lets out a chuckle as she looks at the ring on her hand.

It was the last thing she saw before her conciousness left her.

||

“Is she-“

“She’s alive, just unconcious-“

“That _damn_ butler, I’m gonna-“

“Barbatos did this?!”

“No, she hasn’t been drugged-“

“Nobody did anything to her.”

“How can ya _say that_ , are ya even _lookin_ at her-“

“Mammon, humans can react...badly to stress-“

Viola hears people talking, but she can only make out snippets. Someone is carrying her, and she tries to open her eyes but they feel so _heavy_ that she can’t. Her entire body feels heavy and she feels so _limp_ that she can’t move at all. Maybe she _did_ die again.

She hears more talking, but it’s all blurring together. She feels herself being laid down on something, and she feels her conciousness fade.

||

She’s back in the attic.

Somethings wrong, though. She can barley see, everything is covered with a dark, oppressive blue mist. Something about it feels familiar, and she feels a chill creep down her spine.

She looks around, trying to find an exit, but the mist is so _heavy_ that it weighs her down, pressing on her and making it impossible to move. She’s stuck in place, no matter how much she struggles.

Thats when she hears the laughter.

It starts out faint, just something in the background, but it grows _louder_ and _louder_. She tries to back away, but the mist is still blocking her in, making it impossible for her to see anything or anyone. She covers her ears, but the laughter persists, to the point it feels like its echoing inside of her own head.

 _”Don’t blame me for tricking you.”_ Belphagors voice echos through the smog-filled room. _”Blame yourself for falling for it.”_

Viola just stares mutley into the mist, wrapping her arms around herself. She closes her eyes, waiting for the inevitable soffacation, but it doesn’t come. She opens her eyes and its all still so _blue_ and _smoggy_ and _soffocating_ and she can’t see anything, she can’t see _him_.

“Show yourself!” she yells into the mist. “Show yourself and just- _just get this over with!_ ”

All she hears is more _laughter_ , followed by _”Can’t kill what’s already dead.”_

“What have I ever _done_ to you!?” She snaps back, yelling as the laughter echos around her. “What have I ever done to _anyone_?!”

 _”Oh Viola”_ Belphagors voice echos back at her. _”You came here”_

 _Something_ surges at her from the mist, blue, clawed hands reaching for her neck, but before she can even open her mouth to scream, she wakes up, snapping the dream shut like a book being firmly closed.

||

She doesn’t wake up screaming this time, at least.

She does, however, bolt upwards, her cheast is heaving as she tries to regulate her breating. _”It’s fine.”_ She tells herself inside of her own mind. _”You’re safe, nobodies going to hurt you, keep it together-“_

“Viola?”

Her head snaps up at her name being spoken to see that she’s back in her room at the House, the brothers all around her. They’re all looking at her with concern, no doubt seeing how _panicked_ she was. She’s looking between them all, the questions of _”how”_ and _”why”_ dancing on her lips, but someone speaks before she even has a chance to voice anything.

“How long,” Lucifer says, looking at her with what _might_ have been a dash of concern. “Has this been going on?”

“She doesn’t owe you an answer for _that_.” Satan snaps back, and Lucifers on the verge of cutting back with something when she looks Lucifer straight in the eyes and answers him.

“Ever since the incident with the Grimoire.” She says. “But they got worse after my murder.”

Lucifer, surprisingly, doesn’t have an answer for that. She thinks that maybe, just maybe, he looks slightly guilty.

“Viola, what happened?!?” Mammon says. He’s half frantic, hovering around her bedside like a hummingbird. “Solomon brought ya back and you were-“

“I had a _panic attack_.” She says, cutting him off. “I saw your brother and I freaked out so much that my body stopped being able to move and it was hard to _breathe_ , and thats when Solomon found me before I passed out.”

“You...” Lucifer says. “Saw Belphagor?”

“Yes.” She says. “All he did was look at me, and thats what caused all of this. I know what you’re all thinking, and I’d like you all to get all of your comments about me being a ‘ _weak, pathetic human’_ out now.”

“Viola,” Satan says, his voice softer. “None of us think that you’re pathetic for this-“

“You all did before!” She snaps. “You _all_ looked down on me for being a human and just _existing_ at the start so now that I’ve done something _actually_ weak and _pathetic_ you all suddenly have nothing to say-“

“Viola, _no!_ ”

Viola’s head snaps to the side, and everyone else looks towards the source of the sound. It’s Levi, who seems a little taken aback by his own outburst and the scruitiny its brought on him, but he takes a deep breath and keeps going.

“We-we don’t think you’re pathetic!” Levi blurts out. “Sure I called you a normie and stuff but you’re not pathetic! You’ve never been pathetic! You’ve done a lot here and you’ve done a lot of _really badass_ stuff since you came here and I know that like...thats all been really hard on you mentally and I’m _sorry_ about all of that but you’ve still...you’ve still done a lot of cool stuff and having a public freakout or panic attack doesn’t take any of that away! Henry freaked out too but he still saved the day, and nobody thought any less of him for it!”

 _Everyone_ seems shocked by Levi’s admission, her included, in fact, her mouth is probably hanging open right now.

“We all respect you, Viola.” Asmo says. “And nothing will ever change that.”

“I want to belive you.” She says, Her voice soft. “I really do. But you all _respecting_ me now doesn’t mean that-that you won’t go back to your old ways, that Lucifer won’t get angry about me ‘meddling’ again and threaten me, that Levi won’t get envious about me getting to see the new TSL episode and go on _another_ rampage, that Asmo won’t piss off another one of his portrait trapped exes and teleport me to a labyrinth with _two_ evil snakes this time, that Satan won’t decide to _actually_ rip me apart over me denying him something, that Beel won’t knock down _another_ wall over food and that Belphie- Belphie won’t change his mind and suffocate me and bleed me like a _pig_ again.”

She can feel something bubbling up in her, and she _laughs_. She looks at them and they’re all looking at her but she just can’t read their _faces_ , all she sees is a general miasma of _concern_ , and that just makes her laugh more.

“Hell, maybe this time he’ll put my head on a fucking stake. Put it in a foyer as a _decoration_. Hang me, drag me, and _quarter_ me. You were all probably alive during those times, you probably know what I’m talking about, hell you’ve probably _done_ it to someone.“ She turns her gaze to Satan, and she can almost see him snap back. “ _You_ said you’d rip me apart, so maybe _you’ll_ do it, but I’d hate to _undersell_ any of your brothers, I mean if theres one thing I’ve learned its that you’re _experts_ at dishing out harm in your own ways-”

“Viola.”

Lucifer’s voice cuts through the avalanche of her thoughts and her jaw clicks shut, her babbling stopped in the moment. She’s being _cruel_ now, they all bore their souls to her and explained themselves and here she was, throwing everything back at them. She should stop now, she should apologize.

But she doesn’t.

 _”What”_ she cuts back. “Do you want me to stop? You’re demons, right? You eat up despair and fear. So go ahead!” She says as she flings her arms open with a smile. ” _Eat up._ I’ve brought the lamb to your slaughter.”

Everyone’s looking at each other, and she thinks she hears Mammon saying something about finding _“that damn butler”_ and she wants to tell him that it isn’t Barbatos’s fault, that its Lucifer’s and Levi’s and Satan’s and Asmo’s and Beel’s and _Belphie’s_ and even _Lilith’s_ for bringing her back and not really staying around to see how her choice played out and just _leaving_ her here after the dust settled. _Everyone_ did that, Mammon included, and she can’t help but wonder that maybe if someone, _anyone_ had said _anything_ about the severity of Belphagors crime she wouldn’t be here right now.

Everyones just _looking_ at her, but Mammon steps forward. His steps are slow and gentle, like she’s a deer he’s trying not to spook. She meets his eyes, and she doesn’t move.

“Viola,” He says, holding his hands up. “Nobody’s gonna hurt ya. I won’t let em. I know I’ve-“ he takes a second, like hes trying not to choke. “-I haven’t always done the best job, I treated ya like a chore at the start and dragged ya into things and slipped on ice cream and I wasn’t always there when ya needed it and I was too much of a _coward_ to try and stop Lucifer when he was loosin’ it-“ (In the background, she thinks that she can see the eldest flinch) “-and I _let_ Diavolo send ya back in time by yourself and I-I _let_ him kill ya and I _let_ him get away with it and I didn’t say a damn thing _after_ he did what he did and I didn’t say a _damn_ thing about all of the _shit_ they’ve all pulled-“ (He doesn’t name names, but she sees all of the brothers in the back flinch regardless.)”-but I promise to protect ya now, I won’t let anybody hurt ya, _not again._ ”

He looks like he’s going to cry, and she wants to reach out and hug him again but everyone is here and looking at her and she’s just so _tired_.

“Mammon.” She says, looking at him. “Thank you.”

She looks at him and she hopes that he can tell that she means more than “thank you”. She has more she wants to say to him, but its a conversation she feels like the two of them should have alone.

“I’m glad that you all respect me, and that you want to look after me and keep me alive,” She says as she looks back at the brothers.”-but I still don’t get _why_ I’ve been treated the way I have! I don’t get _why_ me winning a TSL trivia contest was a _death worthy_ offense, I don’t understand why- why Mammon sharing some custard was worth my wall being knocked down, why _I_ ended up being sucked into a death labyrith all because Asmo’s ex was mad about what he said and _why_ me just...just saying that I decided not to take a pact with someone was grounds to _tear me apart_! And I don’t understand _why_ me and Beel letting Luke stay in the house was so _bad_ even though I didn’t even _know_ about the grimoire and why me helphing Belphagor was so _bad_ when I didn’t even know that he wanted to kill all humans! All I knew was that he was locked up! I didn’t know _why_! I’ve never known the ‘why’ for _any_ of these things _because none of you ever told me!_ ”

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Her lip is wobbling and she sucks it in in an attempt to steady it. She opens her eyes and tears start to spill out.

“I know you’ve all apologized for everything but...but I still don’t know _why_. All I know is that you’re all sins but it’s been _thou_ _sands_ of years and you-you all still act like all of your actions have no consequences and I thought you’d all have more _control_ by now.”

“She’s right.”

Violas head snaps up to see that Satan was the one who spoke up. He’s looking at her like he looked at her at the room at the bookstore, reserved but ernest.

“We...” Satan says after a while. “Or, _I_ have been living in the past. I’ve spent my entire _existance_ wrapped up in my wrath and my resentment against Lucifer and it...it consumed me and it still does and it blinds me to _everything_ , Viola. We...are the lords of the Devildom, we aren’t used to being challenged and _I_ wasn’t used to being challenged and it’s...different. It’s something we don’t know how to _handle_ , Viola. But you are right, we’ve been alive for years upon _years_ and we have no excuse not to be better about how our actions can harm others, especially you.”

“We’re uh, blinded to our sins.” Levi says. “I was just so wrapped up in being the number one TSL fan so when you knew _more_ than me I just...couldn’t stop thinking about how a normie who didn’t know anything about a series I know _everything_ about beat me and it just made me so _envious_ and I lost control but like Satan said its not...it’s not an excuse. I was the one who said that you had to win that trivia contest to get a pact with me and I shouldn’t have gotten so _mad_ about you doing what you needed to do to win and I defiently- I defiently shouldn’t have tried to hurt you.”

“I...also lost control.” Beel says, looking at the floor. “I was...really angry about the custard but I should’ve realized that it was Mammons idea instead of deciding to lash out and mindlessly destory the house, especially your room since you-you didn’t know much about us and how we are and you’d just gotten here a few days ago and were probably trying to adjust and I-I wrecked the one space you had and got you in trouble with Lucifer. I shoud’ve had more control over myself and-and you shouldn’tve had to deal with being displaced like that. I’m sorry Viola, _I’m so sorry_.”

“I....” Asmo says. “I also haven’t been thinking about how my actions affected you and everyone around me. I should’ve known better than to provoke Sarah and I realize now that I’ve been...insensitive to your plight and have only really thought about how everything affected _me_ and I didn’t realize the danger that Sarah and sending you to get a photo of Lucifer sleeping would put you in after you’d already been through _so much_ , and I didn’t realize how much you were hurting about Belphagor and what he did to you until...”

“Until I broke.” She finishes his sentence for him. “And I appreicate the apologies, and I can tell you all really mean it but...” She takes a deep breath and wipes away the tears that had yet to dry. “I wish it didn’t take me getting _murdered_ and having a breakdown over everyone trying to bury it and brush it all off for you to all realize that you did something wrong.”

“Lucifer,” Mammon says, looking at his brother. “Whats that look on your face for? It’ll get stuck that way, ya know-“

**”Mammon.”**

The one thing that Viola notices is that this time, Mammon doesn’t say yikes, and he doesn’t try to run away. He just keeps looking at Lucifer until the eldest lets out a sigh and looks at her.

“I...” Lucifer says. “I know that many of the choices I made haven’t been the right ones. I withheald the truth about Belphagor from everyone, I witheld the truth about _Lilith_ from everyone all because I thought that they were my burdens too shoulder on my own, in order to protect my family. But you are right, and you were right then in my office. You didn’t know about why Belphagor was locked away, you didn’t know that he was an active danger to you. You also didn’t know about the grimoire and the crypt and what it meant to us. But even if I did, I was still horrendously cruel to you over it all. And you are right, we shouldn’t have brushed everything off like we did.”

“Lucifer...is right.” Satan says, and Viola sees him surpress a flinch at that. “I think that...we all assumed that you forgave us, when in reality we hurt you. We took your silence on the subject as a confirmation of forgiveness when it came to _everything_ , and it was wrong of us. We shouldn’t have assumed that you’d forgiven everything, even though we’d all started to notice that you...were having problems.” Satan clears his throat, and looks to the side. “And I think...that Belphagor noticed too, hence why he....said what he said at dinner.”

“Well he could’ve worded it fucking better.” She snaps. “Who says _’whats your problem, anyway?’_ to someone they _killed?_ He doesn’t care about me, Satan! He never did! He only saw me as a means to an end and then as someone to cut down for his _fucking_ revenge! He only cares about me now because of my connection to Lilith-”

Viola stops herself as a _realization_ slams into her like Belphagors hand slammed into her throat. But this time, she can at least speak.

“Lilith...” Viola says, her voice barley an echo in her own mind. “...I didn’t kill her.”

“Viola?”

“I-I didn’t kill Lilith!”

It tears out of her throat before she can even stop herself. Everyones looking at her, she knows it, but she still keeps her gaze firmly fixed on her hands, clenching the bedsheets in her lap.

“I didn’t _kill_ Lilith!” She repeats. “She didn’t...she didn’t even _die_ she became a human and lived a happy life but he...he still killed me even though I _didn’t even kill her_. All she did was fall in love and try to heal the man she loved and all _I_ did was get summoned down here to help promote unity or _something_ but he...he still killed me because he _hates_ humans all because...because his sister fell in _love_ with one! But _why_?! Why does he hate _humans_ when she was shot down with an angel?! _It doesnt make any sense!_ Why did I have to _die_ because of her?! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

She’s met with nothing but silence. Lilith was still a sore subject, even though the truth of her death and life was revelaed. She wasn’t going to get an answer, she knows it, so she just looks back at the brothers.

“...everyone.” She says to the 6 concerned gazes in the room. “Please leave.”

“-but Viola-“

“You shouldn’t be alone right now-“

“Indeed, leaving you alone in your current state would be-“

“Darling, _please_ , you need-“

“Viola, we can _help_ -“

“I want you all to _leave_.” She snaps. “Can you all respect my _wishes_ for _once_!? I don’t want _help_ , I don’t need a _chaperone_ , I just want to be _left alone_ , so _go_.”

It’s not a command, but they all snap to attention like it is.

“Well,” Lucifer says. “You heard her.”

He leaves, and they follow. Mammon’s at the back, but before he leaves, he turns to look back at her.

“I’m gonna be right outside.” He says. “And I ain’t leavin’ unless you make me.”

And with that, her door clicks shut.

||

Finally, her room is quiet.

It’s only been over a week since she slept here last, some of her things that she’d left scattered on the floor when she’d been packing were still there, perfectly untouched. It’s ironic, she thinks. Everyone had burst into her room at all times when she lived there, but since she left nobody had come in at all.

Her thoughts are interupted by a knock at her window. She briefly thinks about pretending to be asleep and ignoring it, but none of the brothers would bother to not use her door. So she stands up from her bed and goes to the window.

Lukes there, hovering at the hight of her window. Shes surprised that he’d come back here, considering what happened last time, and she opens it.

“Uh...Hi Viola.” Luke says from his spot. “I’m sorry to bother you but...Barbatos and I made cupcakes and he said I should bring one over.”

He hands her a box, and she opens it. In it is a simple vanilla cupcake with icing the same shade of blue as her hair.

“I remembered it was your favorite.” Luke says. “-and Barbatos said we should make the icing blue to match your-“

Luke doesn’t get a chance to finish before Viola grabs him in a hug (after putting the cupcake to the side).

“Thank you.” She says, her face buried in his robes. He hugs her back, his tiny arms resting around her head.

And for once, Viola feels a little bit at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact this was supposed to be a one shot but I decided to split it up into multiple parts. Who knows when it’ll update but I’ll try to do it asap.
> 
> S/o to Evan for basically cheering me on as I wrote this and reading all of the snippets I sent over discord, thanks a bunch bud.


End file.
